Love Letters: My Coworker Is Interested In Me. How Do I Let Her Down Easy?


So as you’ve probably heard by now, we’re bloggin’ like crazy for the month of November, which means, lucky you, there’s new content every single day.

That also means I’ll be digging deep into the mailbag to answer your relationship questions. If you’ve got a burning question, this is the perfect month to get a prompt answer.

Wanna know how? Glad you asked.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

I’m stuck in a sticky situation. My coworker is in love with me. While I’m flattered it’s a woman and I’m not a lesbian. I have no problem with lesbians by no means but I’m into men big time. She wants to take me out sometime to dinner and a movie. I don’t want to lead her on but I’m her coworker and I don’t want to insult her. Help!!!!



Maybe I’m missing something, but I’m not really seeing the problem here, playa. I think you’re overcomplicating the situation. Allow me to break it down:

Let’s say there’s a nice guy at work who wants to take you out for an evening of Netflix n’ chill.

Which at my house means falling asleep 10 minutes into 15-year-old reruns of Digimon.


Married life, ladies and gentlemen. But I digress.

If you aren’t into the guy, wouldn’t you just politely decline his offer?


So … why wouldn’t you do the same with this young lady?

The fact that she’s a coworker slightly complicates things, sure. But as long as she isn’t a direct supervisor (and if you haven’t blabbed it all over the office yet) I don’t see how this could impact your career. And you’ve also made clear that you’re into men – and, well, that’s a fact she’ll have to deal with.

You said you don’t want to lead this woman on, and you don’t want to insult her.

Great, then don’t. A simple “thanks, but I’m not really trying to see anyone right now” will suffice.

Whether male or female, coworker or Netflix service rep, if you’re not interested in someone, politely decline their advances and keep it moving. It’s really that simple.

Next up is our old friend KJ:

Do you believe in the old saying “if a woman has a lot of education it’s going to be hard for her to find a man?”



What deluded old biddy came up with that saying?

I never understood the ridiculous myth that men don’t want an educated woman. Sure, due to those ridiculous gender roles society has put in place, there are some men who find their worth in being the household’s main breadwinner.

That’s fine but it really shouldn’t matter who brings home the bacon as long as everyone gets to eat together.

So nah, I’m not buying those old wives tales. There are plenty of men who would love to have an educated woman. Stay the course.

And yeah, there are some men who would prefer to avoid educated women. But you don’t want those lames in your life anyway. Their loss.


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