As most of you know, we’re Bloggin’ Like Crazy all month at Soul In Stereo, which means you lucky readers get at least one new post each and every day — even weekends and holidays.
That means I’ll be digging DEEP into the ol’ Love Letter mailbag to keep our content fresh. If you’ve got a burning love question, send it along. There’s a good chance I’ll cover it pretty soon.
Send your inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here’s today’s question:
Statistics have proven that if someone leaves their spouse or significant other the new relationship does not work. Why do you think this is?
I think what you’re getting at here is the theory of “rebound relationships” — leaving your current relationship for that side piece you’ve had your eye on all this time. Now I don’t know how legit these “numbers” are that NC is citing — or even what those numbers are — but I don’t have to be a mathematician to know that leaving a relationship (stable or otherwise) and expecting your fling to flourish is pretty short-sighted.
Like that guy.
NC’s question wasn’t very specific, and I’m certainly not suggesting that someone should remain in an unhealthy relationship just because. But for those poor souls expecting their side piece to be THE ONE, they may quickly learn that Mr. or Mrs. Right Now might be Mr. or Mrs. Wrong Turn.
The problem is that when we’re in bad relationships, we romanticize our rebound lovers, propping them up on a perfect pedestal while blindly overlooking their flaws because we’re so eager to escape our current nightmare.
Trust me, your boy has been there.
So we dive head-first into a pool that winds up having very little water. And now we have a cracked skull to go along with our aching heart.
In the haste to leave a poor relationship behind, daters run to new relationships so quickly that they overlook glaring faults. And many times, the wounds from that prior relationship still haven’t healed. It’s really no surprise why those rebounds wind up being painful.
So instead of rushing off to the next lover, take time to heal. You don’t want to wind up as another statistic.
NFL player Victor Cruz’s fiancee went through his phone and confronted all of his side chicks. Do you think she went too far?
Can’t Be Too Careful
I never understand the point of calling out another man’s side chicks. Well, I guess I get it — women are pissed and want to take out their rage on someone, and side chicks are seen as the source of their pain.
Newsflash — the side chicks aren’t the source of that pain, it’s your man. The guy who vowed to be forever faithful, and all that stuff. Those other women never made that vow.
Why spend all that time and energy tracking down and flexing on devils you don’t know when you’re still living with the devil you DO know?
I don’t know if I’d say Cruz’s fiancee went too far but her anger was definitely misguided. Aim that anger at the brother who destroyed the relationship, not women who have no real stake in your happiness anyway.