Love Letters: Why Won’t My Husband’s Side Piece Return My Messages?

Y’all ready to stroll down lover’s lane again?

As always, the mailbag is bursting at the seams so let’s jump in. Here’s how you can get in on the action:

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

So I recently found out my long time love has been creeping. I sent his sidepiece a message via text and DM. She has chosen to ignore me. Is there a specific reason she has not responded?

Weary wife

Hey, here’s a better question – why are you trying to get answers from your sidepiece AND NOT YOUR HUSBAND?

Look, I get it. Your trust has been violated and you want answers, woman to woman. Shout out to Shirley Brown.

But Barbara has no loyalty to your marriage. That’s on your husband.

Keep that same energy for HIM. Demand answers from your man, determine if he’s remorseful and, if not, if it’s time for you to move on.

I know the social media era has taught us that clowning your enemies is the sweetest revenge, but that’s like putting a Band-Aid on a gunshot wound. Yes, knowingly sleeping with a married man is trash but your focus should be on reconciling (or erasing) your marriage, not chasing down outsiders.

Put your relationship first, something your husband was obviously too selfish to do.

Question No. 2:

If you’ve been caught cheating with someone and you’re trying to make the relationship work should you unfollow the person on social media out of respect for your significant other?


I don’t think CW is the same person as Weary Wife but who knows around here.

Why WOULD you keep following the person you jeopardized the relationship for? Are their hot takes about Kirk Franklin’s son that informative? Are you that excited to see them post a close-up of their arm after they get their COVID shot? Does their IG make you that thirsty?

It’s … it’s the IG thing, isn’t it? Good lord.

It’s like a recovering drug addict keeping a plate of coke on the nightstand just for old time’s sake. What’s the point of letting temptation linger under your nose?

Unless you’re not ready to give that temptation up.

If the person is truly remorseful they should be more than willing to move on from the trife life. But if the IG of the person they were sliding with is THAT important to them, clearly your relationship isn’t a priority.

One last item because these childish people y’all are describing in these questions are annoying me.

Question No. 3:

So in your opinion what’s the difference between clingy and controlling?


I mean, what’s the difference between measles and chicken pox? Both suck. Clinginess is invasive but sometimes unintentional, controlling is much more devious in nature. Clinginess can even be used as a controlling mechanism.

Constantly wanting to be up under your partner 24/7 = clingy

Keeping tabs on your partner so they move how you want them to move = controlling

Neither need to be in your partner’s vocabulary.


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