Love Letters: My Boyfriend Celebrated His Birthday Without Me. Is He Wrong?

If you’re reading this I’m assuming you survived Valentine’s Day 2020.

Unless you’re reading this in the computer lab in the pen. You should have submitted a question to me! It’s cheaper than bail!

Here’s how you can get in on the action.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

So my boyfriend decided for his birthday that he would go home for his birthday weekend (we live in Georgia). Now it’s his special day so he can do whatever he wants. But I am in my feelings though because I feel like he could’ve spent at least one day with me in case I wanted to do something for him for his birthday. Am I wrong in feelings like this. This just shows me in my opinion where our relationship stands and my place in his life.


WHOOOOO BOY. SE, you’re playing a very annoying game that I like to call “Guess What the Teacher is Thinking.”

Y’all ever have a teacher who would call on you in class and ask open-ended questions, then scold you for not predicting what he/she was thinking, even though your answer wasn’t necessarily wrong?

Teacher: “Edward, it’s Black History Month, name the most important civil-rights leader.”

Me: “Martin Luther King.”

Teacher: “Well… I was thinking of Malcolm X but I guess that will work…”

That type of thing. It’s basically a guessing game. And playa, that’s what you did to my guy here.

In the SECOND SENTENCE you basically answered your own question: “Now it’s his special day so he can do whatever he wants.”

You admit right there that he can do what he wants. But you didn’t REALLY want him to do what he wanted – you wanted him to read your mind and say “hey, let’s do something together.”

But he didn’t and now you’re mad. And that’s unfair.

Just because he circled the wrong multiple choice question on your Relationship Scantron Test doesn’t mean it’s a direct reflection of his feelings for you. You gave him a choice and he made one. Dassit.

Wanna know how you could have avoided all of this?

If you just ASKED him upfront if y’all could do something together for his big day I’m willing to bet he would have been happy to spend time with you.

You’re not dating Professor Charles Xavier. Brothers can’t read minds. Next time, don’t rely on guesses. Rely on communication.


Why is it that when you stop playing a man’s games and get a backbone here they come? Whether it be six months or a year later they come back?


Just because his games are over doesn’t mean he still doesn’t see you as a playmate.

Sorry, that’s some weirdo Steve Harvey advice.

Simply put, we often don’t know what we’ve got till it’s gone.

Joni Mitchell never lies.

Once brothers (and women too!) realize that they’ve taken their partner for granted, they run back making amends. You can play another round with dude or realize that you’re too grown for childish games. That’s up to you.


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