Love Letters: Was Offset Wrong to Confront Cardi B On Stage?

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Today we have a couple of timely questions, so instead of digging in the ol’ inbox for some musty, months-old questions, we’ll hit on the current stuff before resuming the regular scheduled program in the coming weeks.

If you wanna get on the Love Letters list, where I might answer your question in the next four years (give or take a decade), here’s how:

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

What is your take on how Offset is acting toward Cardi B? Do you think he’s becoming a stalker and putting too much pressure on her to take him back?


Well, one woman’s stalker is another woman’s hopeless romantic. I guess.

In case you were out Christmas shopping or feeding hungry children or breathing air or anything more important than Keeping Up With The KarMigos, here’s what happened:

Cardi B was performing on stage in Los Angeles last weekend when estranged husband Offset bum-rushed the stage with $15,000 in flowers (!!!) begging her to take him back.

Clearly, she did NOT like it like that.

Of course, as things often go on the Internetz, the situation has spurred furious debates, mostly falling into two categories:

a) That Offset was just trying to be romantic and meant well #ChivalryIsAlive

b) Offset intentionally put Cardi on the spot to strong-arm her into taking him back #ToxicMasculinity

And, like all things on the Internetz, you’re best off ignoring the rabble-rousers. The truth lies in the middle of the usual extremes.

Short answer: Offset’s heart was in the right place. It’s just too bad he left his brain at home.

No, I don’t believe Offset intentionally set up this big fiasco to put her on the spot or, as I’ve also seen, as some supervillain plot to derail her career or whatever. This is freaking Offset, not Thanos, people, he ain’t putting THAT much thought into his machinations.

Offset was simply looking for his Dwayne Wayne moment.

YOU KNOW the moment.


We’ve often been taught by media that in order to prove your love, you have to do some over-the-top proclamation to set things right. I mean, ladies, be honest – how many of y’all have said that Dwayne CRASHING AND LITERALLY STEALING THE BRIDE FROM SOME OTHER GUY’S WEDDING is the most romantic gesture you’ve ever seen?

I’m sure Whitley’s almost-husband Byron would disagree. And I don’t know about those other guests but I’d want my wedding gift back.

Anyway, those antics make for entertaining TV. But this is real life and adults should know better. Alas they don’t. It’s especially true when you tie in America’s current obsession with social media, where we’re all obsessed with attention and willing to make fools of ourselves in an attempt to go viral for six hours (right, Jacquees?) and you can understand why Offset thought this was the right thing to do. It was literally the biggest stage he could make amends.

But dude forgot that despite their very public relationship, their marriage – and any reconciliation – should be a very private affair.

And running up on your estranged wife while she’s in the middle of DOING HER JOB isn’t romantic. It’s embarrassing.

So nah, I don’t believe Offset is some manipulative, toxic monster intentionally trying to bully his wife into doing something she doesn’t want to do. He’s just a weirdo in ugly clothes who makes poor choices.

But y’all already knew that. Do you actually LISTEN to those Migos songs?

One more before we roll:

I need you to break this chick down in your love letters column. I have no sympathy for this young lady. I understand her point but her math is reckless.


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KJ’s referring to this viral photo of some young lady on her Destiny’s Child 1999 flow, explaining that she can’t get a man to pay her auto-mobile so they can’t chill or whatever.

I still hate that song.

While most of the Internet has been tripping about the cost of her bills, most of ’em look pretty manageable to me. Sure, her rent is ridiculous but it’s probably realistic for someone living in a pricey area like DC or NY. The only bills that seem totally unreasonable are that car note (either she’s pushing a Phantom or her credit is more raggedy than Jeremih’s vocals) and her cell (she must be playing Pokemon Go in a foreign country with no wifi).

To harken back to the Offset convo from earlier, what’s the point of this public post besides an attempt to either go viral or shame some unseen ex-boyfriend that maybe six of her followers know? Is she trying to prove no one wants her because of her debt?


So you have a lot of bills – welcome to the world of adults, playa. You get no sympathy from the rest of us, nor whomever you’re trying to date.


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