Love Letters: Am I Wrong to Completely Ignore My Ex While Acknowledging His Friends?

i cant see

The holidays are upon us! Tis the season to be boo’d up!

But before your max out credit cards on somebody who has ANOTHER somebody, let your boy set you straight.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

So at a recent event I ran into an ex who had brought nothing but disharmony in my life. I’m still cool with his boys. My gf and I walked over to their table. We hugged and spoke to everyone but when it was time for me to be cordial with him I didn’t say a word. He gave me glances all night. I didn’t speak because he wasn’t an asset to me. I also felt like with our past of him bringing me in to throw me back out again it would have given him the go-ahead to think I miss him. Furthermore, he has a mouth, he could have spoken! What do you think? Was I wrong in not being cordial?


Since the year is wrapping up, I’ve been putting in some preliminary work on my annual Albums of the Year list. I just was listening to Jessie J’s album (one of the year’s better R&B releases, by the way) and this song sprang to mind after reading your question.

I think Jessie’s talkin’ bout you, playa.

Look, obviously there is still some serious ill will between you and your ex. I’m sure it’s quite justified. And you may have well been best friends with his crew.

But let’s be real – you say you went over to their table in an effort to be cordial. However, you REALLY went over to that table to be cordial WHILE ALSO giving your ex dude the coldest of shoulders.

I’m talking Sub-Zero drinking Icees in Siberia cold.

You did the in-person version of leaving a person’s text message on read – you acknowledged his presence without giving him the time of day.


Edd Rick James

I’ve been waiting for weeks to use that pic. Thanks, BMJ!

Don’t get me wrong, you were under no obligation to say one word to this guy. And if you really wanted to dap up his crew maybe you could have caught them individually  when they were away from Evil Ex.

But you can’t play the victim on this one. You wanted to stunt in front of your ex, plain and simple. And that’s fine, as long as you admit it. It doesn’t make you a bad person – it just makes you my favorite Jessie J song.

What’s next?

So my ex blocked me on FB. Is it unhealthy that my gf gave me her password to her FB and that I check his page daily through her page?


Unhealthy? Man, that’s worthy of a hospital stint. A mental hospital, preferably.

If this person is your ex and the relationship is done, dead, finito, aka Nicki Minaj’s career, WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT HE’S DOING?

Let it go like the ice lady with the snowman for a friend.

It doesn’t take Ray Charles with Lasik to see that you’re still hung up on this guy. Get a hobby, catch up on Netflix, try your luck on one of these newfangled dating apps that’s all the rage with the kids these days – anything’s better than being the equivalent of a Facebook Russian spy bot.


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