Love Letters: Am I Wrong To Judge A Guy I Want To Date By His Social Media Comments?

theater of the mind

I had planned to talk about how fall is here and it’s Cuffin’ Season, meaning it’s time to get boo’d up like Ella Mai on the Billboard Charts.

But seeing that it’s still 95 degrees in October, I guess you still have a few more weeks before settling on this year’s Winter Bae. Lemme help you get your life right!

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

So I’ve recently been asked out on a date by one of my social media followers. I’m a little turned off because he posts everything on social media. He posts when he goes on dates, what he thinks about certain women, etc. For example he posted the other day that the scariest thing when you go on a date with a woman to the movies is asking her if she wants a snack. You may end up paying $40 before you get in the theater. Am I wrong?


Before we start talking about this brother’s social media habits, can we talk about this movie thing?

Because the scariest thing this guy can imagine isn’t that his date could be a closeted psychopath or chews with her mouth open or clips her toenails during the film or thinks Offset is a top 10 lyricist or voted for Trump in 2016.

What keeps this guy up at night is that his date might ask for extra jalapenos on her nachos.


Where do y’all find these bums?

Protip for my daters out there: If you can’t afford to go to the movies, DON’T GO TO THE MOVIES. You better hit up that Redbox at Walgreens and work with those 6-month old DVDs.

But back to KW’s social media concerns.

These days, most people use social media as their digital diary – except the contents are open for the world to see. Now, I had gotten out of the dating scene long before Facebook was ruining lives (and thank baby Jesus for that) but if I were single and/or ready to mingle, I would definitely check out someone’s social media presence before dating them.

Keep in mind I said “check out” not “cyber stalk.” I’m not talking about creating fake profiles to spy on people or getting my friends to send DMs to “test” people’s commitment. Y’all do the absolute most sometimes.

But if someone is flinging their innermost thoughts across the Web for the literal world to see, you have every right to check them out and determine if this person is truly right for you. I’ve found that people are often their most honest when they’re just rambling on Facebook or Twitter. In person, they may be guarded but when they’re speaking to the vast void that is the Internet, their true colors often show.

If he walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and tweets like a duck, that duck is probably not gonna let you get any popcorn at the movies. Judge accordingly.

Question No. 2:

I totally dissed this young lady about 6 months ago because I felt like she was a pest. May sound ridiculous but I now miss her being a worrisome butt. How do I maneuver my way back into her good graces without coming across as a thirsty pot?


That’s the thing about those bug-a-boos, playa, when they’re nagging you to death they’re an annoyance. But then they start growing on you.

I assume this is what parenthood is like. I wouldn’t know, toddlers scare me.

But here’s my question for you, MJ – do you truly miss her, or do you miss the ATTENTION she gave you? If it’s the latter, bringing her back into your life will be nothing more than a temporary ego boost. Once that wears off, you’ll be back in that same position of annoyance.

However, if you truly think they’re something there (and assuming you didn’t totally insult her during the first breakup), ain’t nothing to it but to do it. Clearly she was into you at some point, so if you open up the lines of conversation again – maybe even admitting that you were wrong to push her away the first time – I think she could be down for reconciliation. There’s no secret to this, being honest and genuine is the best way to shoot your shot.


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