Love Letters: Should A Woman Marry A Man With Less Education And Money?

cater 2 u

The weather’s finally getting chillier — bae season is upon us.

But before you cozy up to some clown, bring ’em home for Uncle Edd to check out. Here’s how.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

If a woman marries a man with less education than her and he makes less is she settling or seeing the good in him?

Marrying Up

Huh, well I guess either my wife is “settling” for me or she’s a kind-hearted good Samaritan who sees the good in me despite being a worthless bum. Good to know.


I can’t believe we’re still having these convos in 2015, but we’ve already documented that this year has been pretty screwed up.

I mean, this is y’all’s favorite rapper:

drake butt

He’s so sensitive to women’s issues, you know.

But I digress.

Yes, my wife has a master’s degree from a prestigious university. I skipped grad school because I was lucky enough to land my career a couple of months out of college. Entering my field of choice made way more sense that tripling my student loan debt so I didn’t doubt the decision.

Oh, and speaking of money, after my wife and I moved to Birmingham six years ago, there was a time where she made significantly more money than me, even though I was gainfully employed — old church ladies would still say I had “one of those good jobs.”

But thanks to the gender roles established by some manly dudes wearing powdered wigs, I guess I wasn’t fulfilling my role as a man since my wife was more educated, made more money and is therefore better than me.

Playa please.

Now I’m not saying a woman should have to coddle and baby-sit a grown man who refuses to contribute to the household. But you can’t judge success by the amount of a paycheck. Who cares which spouse makes more money? In a marriage, it’s not he or she, only WE — what’s mine is yours, and vice versa.

If a woman marries a man who is dumber than her or poorer than her, it’s not settling or stupidity. Hopefully, it’s just love. That can’t be measured by degrees and paychecks.

So don’t demonize a man just because his woman is doing better than him. As long as he’s working to take care of his household, that’s all that should matter.

Oh, and ladies? Just like a woman shouldn’t have to take care of a lazy man, don’t expect a brother to cater to an unmotivated woman either. Equal rights, homie.



  1. I guess it would depend. If you can’t contribute financially, I should never have to lift a finger physically. The problem is not many women can deal with being the breadwinner without berating him…and real men don’t feel comfortable not being the head of the household, which causes a battle for power. It makes sense because this isn’t the natural order of things…we are supposed to cook, clean, have/care for babies…and look to you for everything else. The reality is the society we live in forces us to contradict nature…we’re indoors constantly (void of sunlight), “nourished” on garbage, and taught that we don’t need anyone…which couldn’t be further from the truth. Our society causes this question to arise. Personally, I don’t care how much money you have…if you have a genuine thirst for knowledge, you’ve got me!

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