Love Letters: Should A Wife Sue Her Husband’s Mistress?

that other woman

Sorry playas, no cutesy intro this week. My laptop crashed, hitting rock bottom like J-Kwon’s career, taking the original version of this post with it. So here’s part two.

Thanks to that, I’m even more grumpy that usual, so direct your love inquiries and hate mail to the address below.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

In certain states there’s a law called the alienation of affection law, stating that a wife has the right to sue his mistress. Do you think a wife should have the right to sue the other woman?


Now, I’m no legal expert but I’m somewhat familiar with the alienation of affection law, thanks to well-publicized case of a woman racking up $9 million from her husband’s mistress.

Yes, women are catching their men creeping and becoming millionaires. Can’t knock the hustle.

Ah, who are we fooling, this is me we’re talking about. Of course I can knock it.

First, before you get your hopes up, this law is only applicable in seven states —  Hawaii, Illinois, North Carolina, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, and Utah. The rest of y’all are out of luck.

Also, while I’m sure a jilted lover would find sweet revenge in getting paid for their pain, I think the anger is misdirected.

Look playa, if my lovely wife decided to run off with some tight-pants wearin’, 1980 Ford Pinto drivin’, fake-deep spoken-word poetry spittin’, flannel-shirt buttoned up to his adam’s apple moron, why would I target THAT loser? He has no loyalty to me, nor my relationship. The SPOUSE is at fault here and it bothers me that people constantly misdirect their rage at the third party.

That’s not to say the homewrecker is innocent, of course — especially if that person is a family member or close friend. But let’s be real, it’s the spouse with whom you share your marriage vows, therefore that’s the person who bears responsibility for stepping out on the marriage.

Suing the person your mate runs off with might seem like justice — the person who caused you pain now gets to feel the heat — but your ex is the real guilty party here.

These lawsuits are frivolous and distract our courts from more serious matters, but I know that trying to convince y’all NOT to try to get paid is an exercise in futility. Some of y’all can’t wait to catch your man slipping just so you can put a down payment on that 2015 Bimmer. Sigh.

Anyway, what’s next?

Do you think just because you cheat or have cheated that that means you’re not in love with the person?

Love affair

We’re certainly stuck on infidelity today, aren’t we?

I don’t think people necessarily cheat because they’ve fallen out of love with their mate. In fact, cheaters often try to cover up their creeping because they DO care for their mate and don’t want to see that person hurt.

Sure, some people cheat when they’re no longer in love with their significant other. But other times, people cheat out of sheer lust, troubles in their current relationships, an urge to experiment, a need to explore a connection with another person, etc.

Cheating doesn’t have to mean you’ve fallen out of love. But it does mean the cheater is impossibly selfish, and that can’t be tolerated.


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