Love Letters: When Should You Ask About Your Friend’s Baby’s Father?

January 29, 2014Edward BowserLove Letters, love life0

With the nation in the snow-covered grip of Mr. Freeze, I figured this is the perfect time to catch up on some of your love inquiries.

Just a warning, I’m more Aaron McGruder than Ann Landers. You’ll get nothing but cold, hard honesty from me. If you want a dose of it, just hit me up here:

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.

Here’s today’s question:

I’ve had a female friend who I’ve know since I was like 5. We’ve remained friends, even though we now live in different cities. Well one day, she texted me a sonogram saying she was pregnant. She’s obviously not dating anyone. I want to ask who the dad is because it would seem rude not to. It’s just a big part of celebrating the new baby, you know? Should I ask? And if so, how do I do that without seeming judgmental?

Baby Blues

Playa you’re making this MUCH too difficult. Here’s the short answer:

DON’T ASK.

We’re all adults here. Unless your friend is named Mary who hangs out with angels and frequents mangers, you can safely assume some guy was up in her cake batter at some point. That’s just how these things work. Who that guy is is irrelevant. If your close friend hasn’t revealed his identity yet, there’s probably a reason for it.

Instead of focusing on the how, focus on the now – and right now you should celebrate the new life your friend is bringing into the world.

Keep Maury Povich out of this one and just be happy for your friend.

NEXT!

If you give a guy your number and he does not call you within a week is it safe to say he is not interested?

DW

This might be the most frequently asked question in this column. Why are daters so thirsty?

I don’t know about the guys y’all date but I’m a very busy man. Between work, family, church and making the Internetz a better place to live, it’s rare that I have time to sit and bump my gums on the phone. Sometimes it might take me weeks to return a phone call. It’s not that I don’t care, life is just that hectic sometimes.

I can’t speak for the guys you date. Maybe they have demanding jobs that keep them away from their phones. Maybe their phone got turned off and they have to wait until their check comes in to turn it back on. That cell phone struggle is real.

And, well, maybe they just aren’t interested in you.

Generally, I’d assume a guy would call you in a week but if he doesn’t that doesn’t necessarily mean he thinks you have cooties. Do yourself a favor – don’t sit by the phone waiting for your dream man to call. If he eventually calls, cool. If he doesn’t call, he’s the one missing out on a good thing, not you.

And one more:

Is it ever cool to confront “the other woman?”

KJ

I never understood why women are always so eager to snatch the wigs of homewrecking hussies but are more than willing to let the guys – you know, the ones who committed to the relationship in the first freaking place – get off with just a couple of expletives and neck rolls.

If “the other woman” is constantly trying to pry into your relationship on her own accord (meaning your current man isn’t still leading her on) then yes, you can speak up. But even then, the responsibility falls on the man to lead the charge – he’s the one who started this mess in the first place, therefore, it’s his mess to fix.

Don’t be so blinded by revenge. If your man wants to save this relationship, he needs to fight for your trust. You shouldn’t have to go to war alone.

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