Miguel says fan is OK after Billboard Awards plunge

Yesterday afternoon, my inbox started to flood with requests for yours truly to give the Billboard Awards my annual 20 Questions treatment. Sorry y’all, I had more pressing matters to attend to.

But I did flip over occasionally to see the end of Miguel’s wrestling match.
I thought I had caught the stream of a WWE pay-per view.
That poor girl. Getting a face full of Miguel’s balls was almost as bad as watching Icki Garbaj give Lil Wayne a lap dance. From Queen Latifah to Twerk Team. This what we’ve become, hip hop.
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But I digress. You know where I place the blame in that terrible accident? Those tight pants Miguel was wearing. You can’t gain distance when your crotch is being held in a death grip. I’ve been telling y’all for years skinny jeans would be the death of someone, and I always almost right.

Parents, for the future of our country, please don’t allow your children to wear tight pants. How can they go for that jump shot on the court if their crotch is being suffocated? How can they run to their classes if their ankles are chafed? America deserves better.

Miguel, this starts with you. Please cut the Superman act out of future shows. 
Oh, and one more thing:
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3 Comments

  1. This was so incredibly embarrassing and, yes, more proof that people need to stop wearing tight pants!

  2. “That poor girl. Getting a face full of Miguel’s balls was almost as bad as watching Icki Garbaj give Lil Wayne a lap dance. From Queen Latifah to Twerk Team. This what we’ve become, hip hop.”

    Church.

  3. If he wanted height, he shoulda won the shoes Prince rocks.

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