Love Letters: Seven Marriage Moments, No. 3

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In four days, my wife and I will mark seven years of marriage. In this edition of Love Letters, I’ll be counting down the biggest moments of our marriage and how they made us stronger.

In case you missed them, here’s Part 1 and Part 2

Marriage Moment No. 3 – The Wedding Rehearsal of Doom

I’m kinda cheating on this one since it occurred before our actual wedding but it’s my column so get over it. Plus, there’s an important lesson here – life can really suck sometimes.

A day before what was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives was probably THE WORST day of our lives. Here’s just a small example of the chaos that (literally) swirled before our wedding rehearsal in Louisville, Ky.:

– Bridesmaids and groomsmen were dropping out of the wedding left and right. It’s not like they were just bringing napkins to a potluck, this was our freaking wedding! Some people had legit excuses, others just no-showed. Wack.

– Javacia’s aunt got in a car accident. Meanwhile, her mom got impatient, zoomed off alone and accidentally drove to another county.

– A tornado struck, trapping a bunch of my out-of-town friends at a mall.

– Family members showed up to the rehearsal with attitudes, trying to throw their weight around. Playa please, if you didn’t contribute any dough, you ain’t running this show. Have a seat.

– The wifey was so stressed that she neared her breaking point. When I walked in the church sanctuary while she and her friends were decorating, she shot me one of those looks that Godzilla gets before blasting people with his nuclear waste breath.

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One of my boys whispered to me “um, you might wanna rethink this marriage thing.”

– And most tragically, my uncle unexpectedly died a couple of days before the wedding. He was just in his late 50s and while he suffered from diabetes, had been doing well for years. With the exception of my parents, brother and one cousin, everyone on my mom’s side of the family stayed home in Virginia to handle arrangements. It was soul-crushing. Even though my mom made it to Louisville her mind was clearly miles away, thinking of her only brother. No one could blame her.

Lesson of the day: Even in the darkest of times, you can’t give up. Some couples probably would have caved in under the mounting drama we faced that day, taking it as a sign that perhaps that marriage was a mistake. Even though it was extremely hard, we pressed on. And the actual wedding day was monumental.

But that’s a story for another time.



  1. “Playa please, if you didn’t contribute any dough, you ain’t running this show. Have a seat.” TRUTH. I think that happens at all weddings/rehearsals. Unfortunately, everyone has *those* relatives.

  2. Well Happy Anniversary! Mine is on the 7th of this month (6 years) but my grandmother died unexpectly shorty before my wedding and her memorial service was the of my wedding, so my parents weren’t at my wedding and I wasn’t at my grandmother’s service, kinda bittersweet……

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