Monday, January 30, 2012

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Dear Social Media,

I’ve missed you.

I know this trial separation was my idea, but I really missed you.  And now that I’m returning I hope you’ll take me back with open arms. Sure, we were only apart for three weeks, but I learned a lot about you and about myself during those 21 days.

As silly as it will sound to people who don’t understand you, I realized that you make everything better. With Foursquare you turn an ordinary trip to the grocery store or pharmacy into an exciting adventure in which I tussle with residents to be crowned as mayor of my favorite local establishments. The hours I spend grading essays and reading quizzes don’t seem so bad when I can take occasional breaks to browse my favorite blogs. And when I get home from a long day at work and I’m too tired to read or write (or I’m tired of watching hours upon hours of wrestling with hubster) you are there with Pinterest letting me just relax and click through beautiful photographs. Then you inspire me to create digital vision boards of my own because you get that I’m a dreamer and you remind me I’m not the only one.

And yes I even will admit that sometimes I’m lost without. I’m not ashamed to say I get most of my news from you, at least indirectly. I  know what’s going on in my city, my state, my country, and in my world because of the news articles you direct me to through blog posts, Twitter timelines and  Facebook feeds.  When storms came raging through my town before sunrise last Monday morning, I was so afraid without you to cling to. I’m so used to tracking tornadoes through my favorite meteorologist’s tweets. The thought never crossed my mind to just turn on the television. It’s crazy how much I depend on you.

And therein lies the problem. I missed you and I am looking forward to having you back in my life, but some things between us must change.

1)      I need my friends. I realized over these past three weeks that I’ve allowed you to make me a bad friend. I’m always so busy trying to update my blogs and read all the interesting articles being posted on Facebook and Twitter that I don’t make time to have real conversations with my friends. During our break, I spent hours on the phone talking to my gal pals and I really enjoyed it. And so I hope you’ll understand that sometimes I need to step away from my computer and pick up the phone (and not just to text).

2)      I need my fun. When I announced on all my social media networks that I’d be taking a sabbatical I thought my heart would break a bit with each “See You Later” post. But instead, I felt a great weight lift from my shoulders. You see, somewhere along the way our relationship stopped being fun. There was a time when blogging was one of the great joys of my life. Then I found myself wrapped up in SEO, page views, and editorial calendars. And even worse I developed a bad case of blog envy – you know, scrolling through my favorite blogs coveting their huge number of followers, comments, and revenue-generating sponsors. What we had used to be so easy and lately it’s seemed like a chore. This has to change.  I know that like any relationship, ours will require work. But I want our romance to be a labor of love, not just labor.

3)      I need my freedom. Next January, I think I will need another break. I hope that doesn’t hurt your feelings, but it’s just something I think I’ll need to do. Let’s not forget that I stepped away from you for a while because I was even sacrificing my spiritual life to spend more time with you. My pastor helped me realize that is idolatry and I must be free from that. So as we reunite I hope you understand that things will be different. I must use more of my free time to pray and study the Bible and to read things other than blogs. I love to read books (Hello? I’m an English teacher!) but I rarely have time to do so because I spend hours each day writing blog posts and checking Twitter for, well, ideas for more blog posts.

I know you’ll understand; you get me and that’s why I love you. But I just wanted to let you know where I stand.

Now let’s go take some new Facebook profile pictures and try to recover my Foursquare mayorships!


 Previously published on The Writeous Babe Project
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Friday, January 27, 2012

It's Georgia Mae's favorite day of the work week! And, as always, we know how to kick off your weekend right.

Kim Jackson nominates the one Braxton that doesn't annoy Edd.

Toni Braxton (1993)

Kim said: "Toni Braxton’s debut CD was a magnificent wonder of heartbreaking songs such as "Another Sad Love Song" and "Breathe Again." With her her husky alto voice how could any man reject her?"

Also check out:
"Another Sad Love Song"
"Love Shoulda Brought You Home"

Edward drops off one of his all-time faves.

Jay-Z, Reasonable Doubt (1996)

Edd said: "It's funny to imagine a time when Jay-Z was just a low-key rapper pretending to a pimp. And as I mentioned earlier this week, don't believe the hype - Reasonable Doubt was not universally embraced when it was first released. Sure, everyone liked "Ain't No ..." but that's about it. But after just one listen,  I knew there was something special about this Jigga guy. It didn't take long for this to become one of my favorties - I know the album front to back, down to the "Ch-ch-ch-chea" ad-libs. Today, Jay is hip-hop's top dog and Reasonable Doubt has reached its well-deserved classic status. I'm just glad I was down before the hype."

Also check out:
"Ain't No..."

Now, it’s your turn. Email, hit us up on Twitter @etbowser or @writeousbabe, or stop by the comments section and share your Flashback Friday album.  Leave a couple of sentences describing what makes it so great. We’ll feature your album on the blog.
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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Until my dying day, I will proclaim that Virginia is the greatest state ever. Sure it has beauty, Slurpees, and most importantly, it is the birthplace of yours truly, the Head Playa In Charge. But it has also produced some of the best musicians of the modern era.

Innovators like Missy Elliott, Timbaland and Pharrell call Va home. Clipse, one of the best rap groups of the past decade, rep Va, along with underrated lyricists Skillz and Lady of Rage. Cousin Chris Brown and Trey Songz release pretty good music too when they're not smashing windows and yelling at people. And who can forget about Magoo?

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Stop hatin', I love Mag-a-noo.

Anyway, there is one Virginia native who is rarely mentioned in a discussion of the region's best. No not Nicole Wray, I'm talking about D'Angelo. What ever happened to that guy?

Michael Eugene Archer grew up in the Pentecostal church in Richmond, Va. Like many of the folks we feature in this column, D'Angelo fine-tuned his talents in the church house.

D'Angelo signed with EMI Records in 1991 and penned "U Will Know" for the Jason's Lyric Soundtrack. That song was performed by Black Men United, a massive collection of the era's male R&B artists (the most notable being Keith Sweat, naturally). Can you imagine a Black Men United in 2012? Cousin Chris Breezy, Trigga Trey and Drake - that's more like Strip Clubs United.

D'Angelo's shot at solo glory came four years later, with the release of Brown Sugar. Revisionist history casts this album as an instant classic, but take it from someone who actually bought this album in 1995 - it went largely ignored for almost a year (this also applies for Jay-Z's debut, and Nas' too). Yeah the title track was great (convincing me to cop the album) but it didn't get much radio play. It wasn't until "Lady" was released that D'Angelo gained momentum, pushing the album to platinum status. Every girl in my school thought D'Angelo was singing directly to her each time it came on the radio.

Brown Sugar was packed with gems - the fantastic remake of Smokey Robinson's "Cruisin'," the vastly underrated "Me And Those Dreaming Eyes of Mine" (forgive the ridiculous video) and the infamous "Sh*t, Damn, Motherf*cker," which was one of the first times I heard an R&B artist cussing out a lover on record. Consider D'Angelo a trailblazer of R&B thuggery.

D'Angelo's success put the '90s neo-soul movement in the spotlight, and made room for the likes of Maxwell and Erykah Badu. But by '97, D'Angelo was largely a background player, contributing to random soundtracks like Belly and making guest appearances, most notably on Lauryn Hill's "Nothing Even Matters."

D'Angelo returned around the end of the millennium, dropping "Devil's Pie" and "Left and Right" in anticipation of his highly anticipated sophomore set. But it wasn't until he dropped "Untitled (How Does It Feel)" that women nearly dropped their draws in excitement. Actually, I'm positive they dropped them.

True story: Back in 2000, I would have to get my dates home by midnight so they could watch this video, which ALWAYS kicked off BET's Midnight Love show.

How I hated D'Angelo for cutting my dates short.

The song is cool, but watching this video always ... disturbed me. But I guess I'm not the target audience.

Voodoo was released in January 2000 and remains one of the most polarizing albums ever. People either found it ponderous, murky and weird or proclaim it one of the best R&B albums of all time. There is no middle ground. I couldn't get into the album AT ALL, but the album certainly has its fans - it also went platinum like its predecessor. But after a few more random cameos, D'Angelo vanished again.

Voodoo seems like a lifetime ago and these days D'Angelo is known more for his rap sheet than his six pack. In 2005 he was arrested for DUI and drug possession charges. A few months later, he was critically injured in a SUV crash. Thankfully he recovered, but a couple of years later he pleaded guilty to reckless driving. And then in 2010, he was busted for soliciting sex from an undercover police officer. Judging by his 2010 mugshot, I'm not even sure if that's D'Angelo or the ghost of ODB.

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Should He Come Back?: By all means. D'Angelo definitely could pump some life back into the cadaver that is R&B. His third release has been in the works for about a decade. And best of all, the album will be called James River, named after one of Va's most famous bodies of water.

He may look like ODB now and he constantly messed up my mackin', but D'Angelo has Va in his veins. I respect that.
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Monday, January 23, 2012

Hit any club from here to Amsterdam and you're guaranteed to feel electro beats vibrating the dance floor. Canadian R&B/Dubstep artist Lady Pista knows what's hot right now. She combines musical styles ranging from electro, hip hop and dancehall with hard-hitting drum beats to create her sound.

Lady Pista has already released her first EP,  Ritual, which she co-produced with  electro/pop record producer Starwalker. Her debut album is slated to drop this year.

Listen to her latest single "Underground Dancefloor" here and follow LadyPistaMusic on Twitter.

Looking to share your music with the masses? Send a track with a short description about yourself to or hit me up on Twitter @etbowser. If we like what we hear we'll feature you in an upcoming post.
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Friday, January 20, 2012

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Sad news from

Etta James, whose assertive, earthy voice lit up such hits as "The Wallflower" "Something's Got a Hold on Me" and the wedding favorite "At Last," has died, according to her longtime friend and manager, Lupe De Leon. She was 73 and had been diagnosed with leukemia in 2010.

James, who also suffered from dementia and hepatitis C, died at a hospital in Riverside, California.

The powerhouse singer, known as "Miss Peaches," lived an eventful life. She first hit the charts as a teenager, taking "The Wallflower (Roll With Me, Henry)" -- an "answer record" to Hank Ballard's "Work With Me, Annie" -- to No. 1 on the R&B charts in 1955. She joined Chess Records in 1960 and had a string of R&B and pop hits, many with lush string arrangements. After a mid-decade fade, she re-emerged in 1967 with a more hard-edged, soulful sound.

Etta leaves behind a enduring legacy of fantastic music. "At Last" has become THE definitive wedding song, and her vocals are unmatched.

Etta had been fighting illness for a very long time. I'm happy to know she's at peace.

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What a week. But there are two things we can look forward to - the weekend and our weekly trip down memory lane.

Kayla Cille Terry flashes back to childhood.

Brandy, Never Say Never (1998)

Kayla said: "Never Say Never was one of the first albums I ever bought with my own money. After Brandy's single, "The Boy is Mine" hit the radio I knew I wanted to listen to it over and over again. Have you ever listened to "Have You Ever" over and over when your boyfriend breaks up with you? Yeah, me neither..."

Also check out:
"Have You Ever"
"Angel In Disguise"

Edward is all for second chances.

Jadakiss, Kiss Tha Game Goodbye (2001)

Edd said: "Anticipation was sky-high for the solo debut of LOX frontman Jadakiss, but it was received with lukewarm reviews and so-so sales. Yeah, it wasn't the classic it was heralded to be, but it's far from a bad album. Jadakiss is one of hip hop's most underrated talents and there are blinding flashes of brilliance here. For instance, "We Gonna Make It" is one of my favorite songs of the past decade. Yep, I love it that much. Jada's debut is definitely worth a second look, especially if you're bored by today's rap."

Also check out:
"We Gonna Make It," featuring Styles P
"None of Y'all Better," featuring The LOX

Now, it’s your turn. Email, hit us up on Twitter @etbowser or @writeousbabe, or stop by the comments section and share your Flashback Friday album.  Leave a couple of sentences describing what makes it so great. We’ll feature your album on the blog.
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Thursday, January 19, 2012

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Valentine's Day will be here in less than a month, so I expect to get a flood of questions from starry-eyed lovers, or people cutting dead weight so they won't have to buy gifts.

And speaking of that:

Send your inquiries to, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here's today's question:

How do you tell someone that it's a new year and I don't wanna bring that person into my new year without being harsh?

Let Them Down Easy, RS

Playa, let's be real. New year or not, you're asking how you can dump this dude. And there is never an easy way to cut someone off.

Here's how I dumped girls in my pimpin' past:

- Stopped accepting the girl's calls

- Told a mutual friend to relay the message that is was over

And probably worst of all:

- When a someone asked in the middle of class "Are you and so-and-so a couple?" I loudly replied, "Not anymore."

Yeah, don't do ANY of that stuff. Sometimes I'm surprised I was never assaulted by a rabid pack of women. Like piranha, y'all tend to attack as a group.

Anyway, I don't care what Cosmo or Steve Harvey tells you, there is no easy way to break up with someone. The best thing you can do is soften the blow. I've found that the only way to do that is with honesty. Don't beat around the bush, don't make a ton of excuses, don't throw all his faults in his face - just say that you don't think things are working out (while you're at it, give a clear reason WHY) and that you're ready to move on. Be clear, concise and stand your ground. Oh, and leave the attitude at home.

Depending on the maturity of your man, he might yell, call you names, cry like a baby or just walk off without a word. But it's your decision, stand by it. You aren't obligated to be in a relationship with anyone. It's not easy but if things aren't working, don't continue to waste your time - or his.
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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

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Well, Blue Ivy Carter, Jay-Z and Beyonce's precious baby girl, has been with us for a couple of weeks now - and people have been talking about her until they're blue in the face.

For example, there have been about 10 dozen blogs dedicated to "decoding" the name Blue Ivy. The consensus seems to be:

Blue = Jay's Blueprint album series (Blueprints 1-3)

Ivy = Roman numeral 4 is IV. Jay was born Dec. 4, Bey was born Sept. 4, they were married on 4/4/2008 and of course, Bey's latest album is titled 4. And check out the "IV" on Jay's ring finger in the picture above.

That means Blue Ivy is really The Blueprint 4. I sure hope they didn't name a human being after a bunch of CDs. But knowing my good buddy Blu Cantrell, she probably thinks the baby is named after her. Playa please.

But recently I stumbled across one really interesting story, in which Jay has vowed to stop using the word b*tch. Check out this poem dedicated to his daughter:

Before I got in the game, made a change, and got rich, I didn't think hard about using the word b*tch.
I rapped, I flipped it, I sold it, I lived it now with my daughter in this world I curse those that give it.
I never realized while on the fast track that I'd give riddance to the word b*tch, to leave her innocence in tact.
No man will degrade her, or call her name. I'm so focused on your future, the degradation has passed.
I wish you wealth, health and insight. Forever young you may pass. Blue Ivy Carter, my angel.

That's a pretty dramatic transformation from the guy who once said, "Me give my heart to a woman?/Not for nothin', never happen/I'll be forever mackin'." I think the newly mature Jay-Z is great for hip hop. Let's be real - the hip hop generation is getting older, we can't be waiting on calls from AARP while slinging rocks and holdin' down the block. Besides, degrading women is so 1993. It's time to move on.

Of course, Jay's new mantra means we may have heard the last of songs like "99 Problems" and "Is That Yo B*tch," but we'll live. Gotta grow up sometime.


Guess it was too good to be true. From

“That poem and story are fake,” Jay-Z told the New York Daily News.

Well that's disappointing. However, my point still remains. Hopefully Blue Ivy will help Daddy-Z mature, and, in turn, steer the industry in a much more positive direction. It's high time hip hop grew up.

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Monday, January 16, 2012

Whether you're enjoying a day off or working away at the office, take time to reflect on the sacrifices that were made to better our country. Never forget where we've been; never rest until we've overcome.

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Friday, January 13, 2012

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Never thought I'd be blogging about Awkward Black Girl, but since I'm holding down the GM fort while the wifey is away, I'm obligated to spread word about her favorite Web show.

I hope she returns the favors when the new episodes of Bad Girls Club drop.

Anyway, here it is Awkward Black Girl fans: The season finale. Will J choose White Jay or Fred? I have no idea who those folks are, but I know Georgia Mae's Jai likes White Jay, if that makes sense.

I still haven't watched the series; in fact, I plan to catch up on all of 'em this weekend. From what y'all tell me, it'll be well worth it.

Enjoy the finale.

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Need some help getting through Friday? That's what throwbacks are for. Here's what's on today's playlist.

C.J. Harris wants to throw dem 'bows.

Ludacris, Word of Mouf (2001)

C.J. said: "After this album came out, Luda became one of my favorite rappers. Luda's style and delivery distinguished him from every other rapper out that year. Luda brought the heat with this album and still stuck with the Southern recipe of the first album. The lead single, "Rollout," is one of my favorites, not to mention being produced by my favorite producer, Timbo! Luda and Twista made a great tag team on "Freaky Thangs" when it came to fast spittin'. And Jagged Edge on the hook was a plus."

Also check out:
"Freaky Thangs," featuring Twista and Jagged Edge

Yes, Edward listened to a Brandy CD, big whoop, wanna fight about it?

Brandy, 1994

Edd said: "I stumbled across this a few days ago while reorganizing my music collection. Listening to it reminded me how much girls HATED Brandy back then. I'm not sure why - I mean, she had a TV show, a pretty good voice, and she was a media darling. It couldn't possibly have been jealousy, could it? Girls jealous of each other? Perish the thought. Anyway, Brandy's debut doesn't hold up as well in my crotchety old ears as it did in '94, but it still boasts a few strong cuts. And ladies, don't front, you know you were doing that ridiculous "I Wanna Be Down" ninja hand dance at your school dances."

Also check out:
"Brokenhearted (album version)"
"Love Is On My Side"

Now, it’s your turn. Email, hit us up on Twitter @etbowser or @writeousbabe, or stop by the comments section and share your Flashback Friday album.  Leave a couple of sentences describing what makes it so great. We’ll feature your album on the blog.
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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Javacia and Kim
I can't let the day go by without giving a birthday shout-out to one of Georgia Mae's favorite people.

No, not Keith Sweat. Not this time, anyway.

Happy birthday to our girl Kim Coles!

You probably remember the fateful night when Javacia met Kim and they danced the night away. Since then, Kim has given some love on Twitter, and we greatly appreciate it.

In an industry where positive role models are practically extinct, Kim bucks the trend. Y'all know if I can't find anything bad to say about her, she must be good people.

Enjoy your day, young lady. Woo Woo Woo!

By the way, if you haven't already, check out her Life After episode on TVOne. Here's a behind-the-scenes clip.

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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

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While watching her beloved University of Alabama take the BCS National Championship last night, Javacia shared a story from her days on campus. Apparently, during one game, a black quarterback wasn't doing too well and some crazy old white dude yelled "Get that nigger off the field and put our boys back in!" For his stupid remarks, the dude was pelted with garbage from a white fraternity.

Wish I was there, I would have thrown a battery at him. You haven't lived until you've hit an idiot in the back of the head with a AA Duracell. It's the poor man's ninja star.

Thankfully, America has (largely) moved beyond the days of "colored" water fountains and backseat bus rides. But the wifey's experience and a couple of recent news stories show that there's still more progress to be made:


Microsoft has been granted a patent for its “avoid ghetto” feature for GPS devices.

A GPS device is used to find shortcuts and avoid traffic, but Microsoft’s patent states that a route can be plotted for pedestrians to avoid an “unsafe neighborhood or being in an open area that is subject to harsh temperatures.”

So, not only will we soon be able to avoid interstates, we'll be able to steer clear of Deebo n' dem as well.

On the surface, this isn't as nefarious at is seems. I don't really have an issue with a tool that steers clear of "unsafe neighborhoods," but why are "unsafe neighborhoods" automatically labeled "ghettos?" I didn't grow up in the "ghetto" but no one would consider my old neighborhood safe - you couldn't hang clothes on the clothesline outside without 'em getting swiped. And our street had not one, but two crack houses, one of which was burned down in a fit of rage one night. I'm pretty sure there are some so-called ghettos safer than my neighborhood. It's time to stop using that term as a catch-all for "crime."

But that's not all. Apparently math class is turning into a scene from Roots. From

Third graders in in Gwinnett County, Ga., were given math homework Wednesday that asked questions about slavery and beatings....

The question read, "Each tree had 56 oranges. If eight slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?"

Another math problem read, "If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in one week?"

Another question asked how many baskets of cotton Frederick filled.

The teachers claim it was a "cross-curricular activity." Huh? Since when are beatings and picking cotton considered fair game for math problems? Would it be OK to use the beatings little Johnny received from bullies as examples? What about Holocaust victims? The lack of sensitivity is appalling.

And that's the issue here - as the years go on, the civil-rights movement is being pushed farther back in the minds of Americans. I think many people - young and old - have become desensitized or have just forgotten about the struggles our forefathers faced a scant few decades ago. I hate when people use racism as an excuse not to advance beyond their current situations, but don't believe the hype - there is definitely more work to be done. None of the stories above are extremely malevolent, but there is a deep-rooted racist mindset that must change. We haven't overcome yet.

Let's not overlook the sacrifices that were made for us. MLK Day is less than a week away, after all.
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Monday, January 9, 2012

You've seen the viral videos "Sh*t Girls Say," "Sh*t Black Girls Say," and "Sh*t White Girls Say to Black Girls." Now let’s take a look at all those crazy things our music editor loves to say. For those of you who know Edd well, you’ll find this hilarious. If you don’t know him, you’ll find this utterly ridiculous. Or maybe all of you will find this ridiculous. Oh well, here goes…

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Sunday, January 8, 2012

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Today marked the beginning of my church’s annual 21 Days of Prayer – a time of intensive prayer and fasting. While the word fasting may to some of you only mean giving up food, our pastor also encourages us to abstain from anything that may be a hindrance to our relationship with God or others.  

This morning I went to church with my mind made up to give up meat for the next three weeks in hopes that this would force me to make healthier choices in my diet. A month or so ago I had considered also giving up social media – including Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, Pinterest, and even blogging. But I later decided against it, mainly for the sake of

Then Pastor Chris began his sermon for today and started talking about idolatry, which simply means putting other things before God. “Have you made social media an idol?” Pastor Chris asked. “Of course not,” I thought to myself. Suddenly I felt something inside say, “Really?”

Uh oh. Then I remembered all those nights when I was up late reading through my Twitter feed and browsing my favorite blogs for post ideas when I should have been using that time to pray or study the Bible or I should have gone to sleep so I could wake up early the next day and have a longer morning devotion. These thoughts would even go through my mind as I surfed the web, but I would rationalize my choices saying I was too tired to do something like read the Bible because that would take so much concentration; on the other hand clicking through a few links wouldn’t require much brainpower.

But the bottom line is even though I’m not one of those people who update their Facebook statuses constantly and tweet every five minutes, I was putting social media before God. And I have been for quite some time.  

So for the next three weeks I’m taking a social media sabbatical. Don’t worry; Edd will hold down the fort here at and you can always reach me via e-mail. And if the Lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise, as the old folks say, I’ll be back Sunday, Jan. 29.  

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Friday, January 6, 2012

Well, we survived the first week of 2012, let's celebrate with some throwback hits.

Christina Aguilera, Stripped (2002)

Javacia said: This album got a lot of attention because Christina Aguilera was wildin' out on videos and performances for the single "Dirrty." And while Aguilera certainly decided to explore and celebrate her sexuality on this album, those songs weren't the gems of this collection. Self-esteem anthems, soulful tracks about loving Mr. Wrong and sweet, yet sultry songs about finding Mr. Right are what make this album one of my favorites. 

Also check out: 
"Walk Away"
"Loving Me 4 Me"

Edward relives the days of puppy love.

Deborah Cox (1995)

Edd said: Back in 1995, I thought it was my destiny to meet and marry Deborah Cox. Just look at that face! Flawless. Her debut album was pretty close to perfection too - an overlooked gem during an era of outstanding R&B releases. "Where Do We Go From Here" was even voted as our "senior song" when I graduated high school years later. I thought Brandy's "Missing You" was more appropriate, but I think I picked Deborah anyway. Who could say no to that face?

Also check out:
"Where Do We Go From Here"

Now, it’s your turn. Email, hit us up on Twitter @etbowser or @writeousbabe, or stop by the comments section and share your Flashback Friday album.  Leave a couple of sentences describing what makes it so great. We’ll feature your album on the blog.
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Thursday, January 5, 2012

I have something nearly every girl seems to want. (Sorry, Edd, I'm not talking about you this time). 

These Boondocks inspired hand-crafted earrings always turn heads and are a great conversation starter. Even people who aren't fans of the comic strip and television show created by Aaron McGruder love these earrings and love to ask me about them. 

Even better, these earrings won over a few of my too-cool-for-school students. The first day I wore these to school, two boys who always seemed as if they could care less about my class declared that I was "so cool" and have been actively participating in class discussions and activities ever since. True story. 

So by now I'm sure you're thinking, Where can I get these? Head on over to Nappy Rutz to snag a pair of your own for $21. 

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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

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It's a new year - are you looking for a new start? We're running low on Love Letter submissions, so if you have a burning question, submit it now for a quick turnaround. But be warned, you know I keep it real.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here's today's question:

Why is it that some men will diss you then down the road contact you like nothing happened? What's up with that?

Not a Welcome Mat

For some reason, most people assume that the wifey and I have always had the perfect relationship, that we never argue and that our living room is filled with singing forest animals. Sorry playa, our life isn't always a Disney movie. Especially when we first dated.

Back in 2002, when we were in that awkward "are we dating or aren't we?" phase, we drifted apart to explore other relationships.

Oh, why front - y'all know I keep it real. For the first time ever, your boy got dumped.

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I know, right? Crazy. But it's all good, cuz I won in the end. As if there was any doubt.

Anyway, we went about a month without contact and then, randomly on the day after Thanksgiving, The Queen of Georgia Mae herself randomly called me talking about that new Justin Timberlake album (which was all kinds of bangin', by the way).

Although it seemed she fell off the earth and contacted me "like nothing happened" during our time apart she was actually weighing her options and sorting out her feelings. When she popped up, we took things slow and finally started dating that summer.

With the benefit of hindsight, I understand why the wifey took her Edd sabbatical. But whenever someone seemingly cuts off a relationship and then reappears out of the blue it's pretty freaking aggravating (sorry, wifey). There are tons of reasons why this happens: Fear of commitment; testing other waters; seeking time to sort out unresolved feelings; or (as most of y'all assume) just straight-up creepin'.

The real question is, are you willing to accept them back? As long as the vanisher makes clear why he or she went AWOL and their recommitment seems genuine, I think it's OK to reconcile. Of course you are under no obligation to take them back, but if you do move on don't hang it over their heads. We all make mistakes (yes, even YOU).

The choice is yours and you really have to feel out the situation. If it feels right, rebuild those bridges. Don't miss out on a good thing.

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Posted by in ,  on 6:00 AM 1 comment

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

As a curly girl having a good conditioner is a must to satisfy our thirsty tresses. I've been a huge fan Aussie Moist conditioner, but sometimes I like to switch it up and try something new. 

Lately, I've been using Hello Hydration conditioner by Herbal Essences. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about this conditioner. It didn't seem as rich as my Aussie Moist and so I was worried my hair wasn't getting the moisture it needs. Herbal Essences claims that Hello Hydration conditioners contain "hydro-activated silkening ingredients" to help infuse hair with moisture. I'm not sure what  "silkening ingredients" means but I will say that my hair was much less frizzy on the days I co-washed my curls with this conditioner. So I guess those "silkening ingredients" (the Hawaiian coconut and orchid flower extracts, perhaps?) did their job. 

I also love the scent -- coconut, tropical fruits, with a hint of vanilla. Delicious!

Hello Hydration is inexpensive, in fact at Target it was the same price as Aussie Moist conditioner, but technically Aussie is cheaper because you get more for your buck (13.5 oz. of Aussie Moist versus 12 oz. of Hello Hydration). 

Nevertheless, I am happy will this conditioner and will continue using it for now. I'm also a fan of the shampoo. It makes a great lather and a little bit goes a long way, which is important for me since my mane is so thick. 

What new products have you tried lately?

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Posted by in  on 6:00 AM 2 comments
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