Love Letters: Love Is A Battlefield

Here’s your homework lesson for tonight – go see The Dark Knight Rises. No matter how screwed up your love life is, I guarantee it’s not as bad as poor Bruce Wayne’s.


Before we check in with today’s battling beaus, hit me up if you’d like advice.


Send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Me and my girlfriend have been fighting like an old married couple but we haven’t been together two months yet. I think it’s because we’re so much alike but I also feel that this is a red flag because we’re so early in the relationship. What should I do?

CH

There’s a big misconception among my family and friends that the wifey and I don’t get into disagreements. We’re both human beings, not robots – of course we have different views and perspectives on things. 


Plus, I readily admit that living with me can be pretty annoying. Hang my clothes on the wrong end of the closet and I’ll complain. Leave the cabinet doors open and I’ll whine. Put the wrong CD in the wrong case and I’ll hit the roof. There’s nothing worse than opening the case for Lupe Fiasco’s Food and Liquor and seeing an old Ani DiFranco disc inside.


Sorry ladies, living with me isn’t all champagne and Sour Patch Kids.


Even though the wifey and I have our disagreements, we’ve NEVER had screaming matches, door-slamming contests, or the tried-and-true “storm out of the house and drive off while the spouse yells your name down the street.” Save that stuff for the soap operas and reality TV shows; those histrionics only escalate matters.


I’m not sure the nature of your arguments, but if your disagreements are on the level of cabinet door drama and incorrect CDs catfights I wouldn’t rewrite my profile for Match.com just yet. The trick to managing any argument is compromise. When an issue arises and there is a disagreement, communicate and find a resolution then and there. Don’t let things linger and go unsaid – that just fuels later tension. And once the issue is settled, DROP IT. Don’t keep holding it against your mate. If the issue comes up again, address it, then let it go.


When I get ready in the morning I tend to leave things like lotion and cologne bottles randomly around the house, greatly annoying the wifey. When I get busted for it, I just say “my bad” and put them in their proper place. I don’t say “ITZ JUST A STOOPID BOTTLE, CHILL OUT WOMAN!!!” nor does she go all Kelis on me. An issue comes up, we resolve it, we move on, the end.


Now if you guys are fighting about more weighty issues (“Stop stealing my mom’s car!” or “Is this your heroin needle?”) then you really need to re-evaluate things. But since your relationship is pretty young, there are bound to be some bumps in the road as you figure each other out. I wouldn’t write things off yet. Just work at it. The trick is to come to a consensus early, respect each other and don’t let petty quarrels stop your relationship from blossoming. 


Today’s bonus round question is brought to you by Mortal Kombat.

Image via

Why do men love a woman who plays hard to get opposed to a woman who is always in their face?

DC

They say women are from Venus and men from Mars but, really, we’re all just a bunch of weird space aliens. We’re more similar than you think. 


Let’s put things this way: Ladies, would you prefer a man who shows interest but gives you just enough space to think things over or would you like a hyperactive spider monkey jumping in your face 24/7? Unless you’re a fan of spider moneys, I bet you’ll go with option A. That rings true for us men too.


An overly persistent and overbearing dater reeks of desperation – and baggage too. No one wants a clingy psychopath in their life. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with showing interest in a guy or, gasp, even making the first move. But scale things back and don’t get too headstrong. Trust me, a clingy woman is the largest red flag a man can see. Show you’re interested, then step back and allow him make a move. Let your absence make his heart grow fonder.