I am not proud of this.
Each week I watch a ridiculous reality TV dating show called The Ultimate Merger. A spin-off of The Apprentice, the series premiered last year with several men competing for the heart of Omarosa. Yes, I watched. Yes, it was horrible. Yes, I'm watching again as former America's Next Top Model and Celebrity Fit Club contestant Toccara Jones tries to find love. (Give me a break. I teach early American literature all day. I deserve brain candy when I come home. And at least I stopped watching Bad Girls Club.)
Toccara, an accomplished plus-size model, is hot. And Toccara knows she's hot and she is quick to flaunt her curves for the cameras. Looking at her last week I started to reconsider my weight loss goals. Do I really need to be a size 4 or 6 to be healthy and happy? Toccara is no waif-like celebrity, but she is fit and toned.
Perhaps it's time I put the scale in the closet and shift my focus, time to change my weight loss goals to fitness goals. Frankly, it doesn't matter if I get down to 140 pounds if I still can't get through all the moves of a Pure Barre class.
When I was in college, the only time in my life I actually liked my body, my self-confidence had nothing to do with my weight or my dress size. I had a positive body image because I was proud of what my body could do, proud that I could teach five aerobics classes a week.
I've decided that I want to teach aerobics again. I also want to complete a half-marathon. Most important, I want to feel strong.
I'm not saying you have to run a marathon to be beautiful. Some people have medical conditions that make this impossible. I have a medical condition that could make this goal impossible. But the point is to do what you can and do your best. That's hot.
And can you believe I got all of that from a reality TV show?