Editor’s Note: It’s time for another edition of He Said, She Said. This occasional Georgia Mae feature allows our resident man blogger and I to discuss different, though not necessarily opposing, thoughts on different issues, frivolous and grave. This is a special edition of He Said, She Said as it marks our 5th wedding anniversary, so beware of the mush factor.
We’re married, yo!
Five years ago today I said I do to our Georgia Mae music guru, Mr. Edward T. Bowser. That’s five years of sharing nearly everything from bank accounts to laundry. For the past two and a half years we’ve also been partners on a special project — publishing the blog GeorgiaMae.com. During this time we’ve learned that many of the things you must do to maintain a successful blog can also help a couple maintain a successful marriage.
Be creative. Working on Georgia Mae together has been fun in part because we have a blast brainstorming ideas and coming up with features such as Whatever Happened to and the wildly popular contest on the best Christmas songs. We use this same creativity to keep our marriage interesting, showing appreciation for each other with more than simple Valentine’s Day gifts but also with Easter baskets and Hello Kitty themed birthday parties (wow, we sound like we’re 12). I even used my connections as an entertainment journalist to make arrangements for Edd to meet his idol Keith Sweat.
Communicate. We might make this bloggin’ thing look easy, but there’s a lot of planning that goes down each week at Georgia Mae Headquarters. We map out a game plan, decide who will write what, and even allow wiggle room in case news breaks – like if your favorite rapper gets the Burger King logo tattooed on his face, for instance. Things run smoothly because the lines of communication are always open. There are never any surprises at home or on the blog. And if there are issues, we come to each other to reach a solution.
Support each other. Creating Georgia Mae was my dream. Edward didn’t have to come on board and help me out, but he did because he wanted to support me in this project, just as he’s supporting me with my new project, See Jane Write. And as Edward took stepped into his new role as community manager at one of the top advertising agencies in the Southeast, I was and continue to be his biggest cheerleader.
Be willing to compromise. As longtime fans of Georgia Mae know, my blogs can be a bit, well, tart at times. I’m not one to hold back on my opinions, especially when discussing subjects I’m passionate about. If you think some of my current blogs are scathing, you wouldn’t believe the stuff that never saw the light of day. That’s where compromise comes in – Javacia is great at softening some of my more brazen moments and redrafting them. Sometimes it’s a struggle (I can be stubborn, you know) but we always reach a consensus. It’s the same way in our marriage. When we don’t agree on things we meet each other halfway. We put our egos aside for the good of the situation. And in the end, we always come out stronger.
Share the load. You may have noticed that some weeks there is an abundance of urban music posts on Georgia Mae and other weeks it’s a girl power fest. That’s because when I’m having a particularly stressful week Edward steps in and does more than his fair share of work on the blog and when he’s slammed with work and church projects I do the same. It’s no different at home. I am a feminist and Mr. Bowser knew this long before he met me at the other end of the aisle. Therefore, he knew that the old-fashioned notion of domestic work being solely for members of the family with a vagina was not going to fly in our house. Fortunately I married a very progressive fellow so this was not an issue. We split household chores but I’m willing to take on more work when Edd is crazy busy and he’s happy to do the same for me. It’s team work. We are partners, truly.