Friday, June 25, 2010



Do you have a friend who probably means well, but gives horrible advice?


If not, let me introduce you to Chante Moore.


The siren's biggest hit was 1999's "Chante's Got A Man," which rose all the way No. 2 on the R&B charts. The track tells a familiar story - a girl is having trouble with her boyfriend and turns to her friends for help. Chante is there to offer advice and encouragement.


Or is she?


Chante's got a man at home
(I gotta go home and make him some dinner)
It hurts me your man's leaving you all alone (oh what, I'm supposed to lose my man cuz your man acting crazy?)

I can't help it that your baby's bad
Creeping out, cheating on ya, beating on ya
(I'm telling you you gotta leave him alone)
Chante's got a man at home (I gotta go home)
And he's sure good to me


Now, wait just a minute. Ladies, if you go to a friend for advice on men and the first thing your girl says is "make this quick, I gotta go home and make my man some dinner" I think that should be a red flag. The poor woman is telling Chante that the dude is beatin' on her and creepin' on her (why do those to things always happen in pairs) and what's her response?


I gotta go home.


And the worst line of all: Oh what, I'm supposed to lose my man cuz your man acting crazy?


Chante's man can't wait five minutes for her to console her abused friend? Chante must make a mean meatloaf if her man is that impatient. And why does Chante keep making everything about her and her man? The poor abused friend hasn't gotten a word in edgewise.


Oh, but it keeps going downhill from here.


I'm sorry that your man ain't home
I'm sorry that yours left you alone
It's such a shame your man is playing games
And I heard you say that men are all the same
No, no, no
It's not the truth girl
Cause I got proof girl
Oh I got proof girl
I got a man at home


OK, I'm with Chante on this one. She's finally listening to her friend instead of rambling on about how perfect her man is. And Chante's right - I hate when women say that all men are no-good dogs. Those same women are the first ones ready to claw a dude's eyes out when a guy like Slim Thug tries to put all women in the same gold-digging bucket.


But then Chante remembered her man again...


Chante's got a man at home (I gotta go home)
It hurts me your man's leaving you all alone (hurts me to my heart)
I can't help it that your baby's bad
Creeping out, cheating on ya, beating on ya
Chante's got a man at home
And he's sure good to me


And again, Chante's trying to cut the conversation short so she can make it home. I hope she's cooking this man a 5-course dinner. I'd be pretty upset if she's rushing home just to throw a couple of frozen Healthy Choices in the microwave.


Now why'd you let him beat you down (look at you!)
No, no, what's up with that
There's good men around
Don't you know how beautiful you are inside girl
And don't you let nobody go and steal your pride
Oh no no, I know your thinking girl
It's not the truth girl
Cause I got proof girl
Oh I got proof girl
I got a man at home
chorus


Once again, I gotta give Chante props. She's giving good advice. But then the next thing she says is...


(I gotta go home - to MY man)


It's all about you and your hungry man, huh, Chante?


I once was where you are
Thought men were all the same
But I never gave up hope
And now my life has changed
Listen to me girl
One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl
He always treats me right, we never fight
He sends me flowers and wines and dines me
Took me home to meet his momma
How he loves meeeee
One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl
Give it one more try
Before ya give up on love


I'm sorry, but if I was the abused friend, I would probably have punched Chante in her pierced nose by now. For example, if you were talking to a friend how you were struggling financially, would you want your friend to say "My pockets fat, I'm never broke/my money's longer than a fishing boat/I have 18 cars and platinum bikes/I hung out with the Obamas the other night/man, I'm so riiiiiiiiiich!" That's legal grounds for a beat down.


Why does Chante think that bragging about her perfect man will make her friend feel better? Besides, the man can't be all that perfect if he keeps nagging her about dinner. How hard is it for him to pop the top on some Campbell's soup?


And speaking of Mr Right...


(well, girl, that's my man calling me...hello....)


I guess the dude got tired of waiting and called Chante to demand his food. Seems to me like she's the one who needs relationship advice.


And who is this man who she was sooooo enamored with?






Yeah, all that drama over Dwayne Wayne himself, Kadeem Hardison. Of course, they're now divorced - I guess Whitley Gilbert made better meatloaf. Chante is now married R&B's Kenny Lattimore, who looks like a light-skinned Lt. Daniels from The Wire. I wonder if he ever bugs her about dinner?




The Verdict: Never, EVER ask Chante Moore for relationship advice.
Posted by in ,  on 7:00 AM 2 comments

2 comments:

  1. I use to think the same thing about this song.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I didn't know that they'd finally gotten married. I just thought she'd Finally left him and then met Kenny.

    They seemed to have the perfect relationship for "Going Nowhere?" poster.

    Chantay

    ReplyDelete

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