Edd’s MANtra: Who Wears the Pants?

I bet I get some hate mail for this one.

Back in the day, way before the wifey and I jumped the broom – that means “got hitched,” for those not up on their African-American traditions – she hit me with an interesting question.

She asked, “What would you say if I proposed to you?”

That caught a playa off guard. But y’all know me, I kept it real.

I replied, “I’d say yes – but don’t do that.”

Before my feminist friends start throwing virtual tomatoes at your boy, hear me out. At that point in our relationship, it was a lock that we would be married eventually. But I’ll be honest with you, popping the question was something that I wanted to do. I didn’t want her to beat me to it.

Is it a manhood thing? Probably.

It makes me wonder what was on David Otunga’s mind when he got a recent gift from his fiancee, Jennifer Hudson. Who is David Otunga? Y’all remember Punk from I Love New York.

Check this out, from music-news.com:

Jennifer Hudson gave her fianc√© a five-carat custom-made diamond ring for his birthday. A friend said: “Jennifer wanted to give him something really special when she asked David to marry her. It was very sentimental and romantic. They are really in love.” The pair were engaged in September, but Jennifer wanted to return the proposal. The designer calls the ring “masculine, yet has a lot of sparkle”.

She should have bought Punk some shirts that fit. Look at that photo, that fabric is struggling.

Anyway, poor Punk has had to endure a lot of teasing about his woman buying him stuff he probably can’t afford. I remember hearing once that he was a big-shot lawyer (or so he said) but I’m sure he ain’t making that “Dreamgirls” money. And you know those Vh1 checks have dried up like New York’s scalp.

Look, if the wifey wanted to buy me a five-carat ring, it’s ALL GOOD. I’m certainly not one of those guys who wants his woman at home baking biscuits. In this economy, we both need to be chasin’ paper any way we can. However, there is just something in many men, myself included, that wants me to be a provider. I think it’s that same thing that made me hesitate to allow the wifey to propose to me.

I wonder if it’s something Punk struggles with. I know he struggles putting that shirt on.

Do you think men are justified in wanting to be the provider? Or should they step aside and let the ladies do their thing?



  1. me personally. i aint proposing to no man. i dont care if we been together for 5years or 50 years. just something not right about it. not to mention a man wearing diamonds.

    a man wants to be the provider because GOD designed him to want that. But i if the man is cool with a woman proposing to him and whatever else then that’s how they should do it.

  2. Ok..I was all prepared to write, almost exactly, what mErCh wrote.

    I ain’t doing it. If you’re not ready to propose and marry me, then we’re not ready. The diamond – ah, NO. I’m on the fence about men and rings already; a 5-carat anything, other than wedding band, would turn me off.

    As far as who is the provider: In mine, I want my husband to be the main provider. AND that doesn’t translate, to me anyway, to mean the one who makes the most money. But if other women and men are cool with it being different ..so be it.

    I didn’t see the show, but if he was cool with New York choosing or not choosing him…I don’t see why he’d have a problem with Jennifer’s method. He should be thanking GOD that he got Jennifer instead of New York!

  3. I would NOT propose to a man. I think of it like this: he’s supposed to be the leader of the household, but if he follows me to the altar, how am I supposed to follow him for the rest of our lives?

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