Edd’s MANtra: Pound puppy

I’ve had a good time at my man DMX’s expense in the past, but now things are just getting sad.

From FOX news:

DMX, also known as Earl Simmons, may be charged with felony aggravated assault. FOX 10 has learned that while in lock down, Simmons apparently assaulted a Sheriff’s detention officer. If convicted of these new charges, his probation could be revoked and he could be sentenced to 8 years in prison.

So let me get this straight – X has gone from serving 90 days in jail on drug and animal cruelty charges to potentially serving 8 years!

You think his hairline looks bad now – imagine how it’ll look in 2015! We’ll be riding around in flying cars by then!

DMX has long been a screw up, but at this point someone has to realize the man has some mental issues going on. Yes, we know he barks at grown people, chases cars and howls at the moon, but seriously, something is just not clicking upstairs.

It’s kinda like seeing a loved one descend into dementia. I hope he gets himself together.


  1. Seriously. It’s been a downward spiral — and one that we bore partial witness to during his short-lived reality show.

    It’s hard to watch people unravel before your eyes.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.