Edd’s MANtra: Good riddance, Chris Brown

Well, I had planned to blog about last night’s Grammys, but I didn’t want you all to suffer through the four hours of sheer boredom that I endured.

Honestly, besides Jazmine Sullivan getting robbed and holding my breath as Whitney Houston presented Jennifer Hudson with her award (surprisingly, the train wreck I expected didn’t happen), it was a pretty uneventful evening. Loooooooong and torturous, but uneventful.

But as I’m sure you know by now, the big story occurred behind the scenes. From cnn.com:

Singer Chris Brown, a no-show for Sunday night’s Grammy Awards, has been charged with a felony in connection with a domestic violence incident….Brown, 19, posted a $50,000 bond and was released by police at 8:35 p.m. (11:35 p.m. ET). A March 5 court date has been set.
Brown, nominated for two Grammy Awards, was scheduled to perform at the show.

His girlfriend, singer Rihanna, abruptly canceled her planned Grammys performance, but neither her spokesman nor the show organizers gave a reason.

Chiiiiile, no he did-unt.

Although it hasn’t been confirmed, word is Rihanna was the victim of Chris Breezy’s attempt at proving his manhood. Seems plausible to me. I mean, if she wasn’t the victim, wouldn’t she have said so by now?

I’ve heard all kinds of reasons for this alleged confrontation – everything from them fighting over who gave whom an STD to Rih-Rih getting drunk and telling Chris that she thought some guy had a better looking butt than his. I hoping it’s the latter, because it’s the most hilarious.

As horrible as this situation is, I am excited that Chris Brown’s career is now on life support, and he has no one to blame but himself. Now can we dig up some dirt on T-Pain already?

And let me now make this plea to poor Rihanna:

Rih-Rih, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye. I’ve often questioned your talent and have been disturbed by the radius of your forehead. However, I hope you realize that you don’t have to put up with a goofball like Chris Brown, a man who may be even more overrated than you.

Sorry, sorry, old habits.

Anyway, no matter how cool you think it is that he can do back spins on your momma’s coffee table, he deserves a kick square in his Doublemints next time you see him. If you’re still too emotionally attached to do it, hit a brother up. I have cousins who can get the job done. Just e-mail me at chrisbrowncantsing@gmail.com. I closed my old account, rihannasoundslikearustymuffler@gmail.com, this morning.

And remember, never, EVER trust guys from Virgina.

Do you think it’s a wrap from Chris Brown’s career?


  1. LOL!
    So i was listening to a something from the Tom Joyner Show while drving from KY today and J. Anthony Brown was joking saying “yeah i would have hit her too if she gave me a SUV..high as gas is!” LOL

    Although that is funny i hate how everyone is joking about the whole domestic violence issue. Hopefully it will be taken more seriously once the truth comes out about the whole situation.

  2. My mom said she’d heard reports that Chris’ “step father” was violent toward this mother. I just hope the youngins get it together (and get their health–mental and total-body together). Those are some NASTTEEEee looking cold sores. Pray for the babies!

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