Love Letters: Keke Palmer And Usher And Darius Jackson – Who Is Wrong?

It’s been a minute since we hit the Love Letters inbox, but since I get a timely question this morning, I figured we’d rush it to the top of the pile while y’all are still in the mood to argue.

If you want to join in the fun, here’s how:

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Brother Bowser, what do you think about this Keke and Usher situation? Was she in the wrong for coming out of the house like that? Was her boyfriend wrong for calling her out? Was Usher wrong for being in her face? The streets have questions.

Nope

The streets talk too much, that’s why we’re in this current situation.

First, a brief recap for those who were too busy playing with Threads on Instagram instead of keeping up with the latest celebrity nonsense:

Keke Palmer hit up Usher’s Las Vegas show rocking a very revealing dress. Urrsher, never one to look a gift gorgeous woman in the mouth, serenaded her with “There Goes My Baby” while the Innanet lost its mind.

Darius Jackson, father of Keke’s child, clearly felt a way, saying in a now-deleted tweet: “It’s the outfit tho.. you a mom.”

That was the spark needed for some post July 4 fireworks, with half of social media screaming that men shouldn’t police women’s clothes, while the others yelled about the demise of the virtuous woman.

Want to know what I think? Darius deserved that L because this convo should have NEVER been on social media in the first place.

Blame it on the male ego.

If you’re wondering why Darius felt the need to speak up, look no further than this clip from the Boondocks, from an episode when Tom’s wife ALSO gets snatched by Usher. That man BEEN a menace:

I’m sure Darius was home ironing diapers or mashing ham and cheese sandwiches into baby food (I don’t have kids, I don’t know how this works) when he got 50-leven DMs from his boys saying YOU GONNA LET YOUR GIRL PLAY YOU LIKE THAT? WITH USHER?

I COULD SEE IF IT WAS A REAL PLAYA LIKE TI, BUT USHER????

Riley truly was a voice for a generation.

Darius felt like he HAD to say something, or he’d look like a weak boyfriend, a weak father – a weak man. So Keke became the target.

This was more about repairing his ego in the eyes of friends and strangers than protecting her, and that’s where it all falls down. Word to Syleena Johnson and Lauryn Hill (because we don’t acknowledge that other guy anymore).

Allow me to share two key life hacks from a brother who is rolling up on two decades of marriage:

– Stop policing your wife’s clothing like you’re the wardrobe Feds. There is absolutely no way you can win that fight. Instead, develop a level of trust with your partner where they feel comfortable talking to you about what they wear. My wife always runs her attire ideas by me – not for my permission, mind you, but because she values my opinion. And I do the same and ask for her thoughts when I decide to get slick for the streets.

Also, this mentality of dictating what a mother should and shouldn’t wear is ridiculous. She pushed a whole human out of her pelvis, she earned the right to get sexy when she wants.

– Secondly, YOU. DON’T. HAVE. TO. PUT. EVERY. CONVO. ON. SOCIAL. MEDIA. I know we live in a generation where our feeds are our living diary but everybody does not deserve a seat at your table. Performative rants for strangers will not strengthen your relationship, it’s just fuel for think pieces. Don’t end up on that Summer Jam screen, gentlemen.

If you have a problem with your partner, talk it out face to face like normal humans, not like Twitter bots.

Would I be in my feelings if I saw Usher leering over my wife with social media cheering him on? Maybe. But I have enough trust in my relationship to ignore the Hueys in my DMs claiming that I was humiliated, castrated and emasculated.

I know Keke’s dress has become the talking point but the REAL issue here is Darius’ insecurity. Until he addresses that, it doesn’t matter if Keke’s in a mesh dress or a moo-moo, their relationship will need serious work.

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2 Comments

  1. Well said. And great relationship advice. I think this is also just part of being young and in the public eye. I doubt usher did it specifically to cause issues. They looked like they were having fun. I hope Daryl gets counseling or at least invests time in private convos with Keke about his feelings.

  2. Such a logical post. I hate how everything becomes a gender war these days. Darrius is not a monster, and Keke isn’t this wicked succubus who got off on emasculating her boyfriend. She just went to a concert. Hopefully he learned something from this

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