I’m a grown man who hasn’t seen most of the Pixar movies that people are obsessed with. Join me as I watch ’em all one by one – see if I buy into the hype.
Movie No. 1: Toy Story (1995)
While I was sure I had watched this movie before I’ll admit it was only once and back when they still played good rap on the radio, AKA, the stone ages. Apparently I had some serious Mandela effect going on because this movie was nothing like I remembered. Wasn’t there a guy who looked like a spoon? Didn’t they almost get burned up on a conveyor belt? Where is the girl Woody? Did I make ALL this up?
Because of my faulty memory, this movie came off completely new to me. Again, my old man brain had mixed things up – I thought Woody was the nice guy and Buzz was the cocky jerk but nah, Buzz was just outchea trying to live his best plastic life while Woody was the supreme hater. Also, that kid’s mom is much nicer than mine – we would have gotten into so much trouble if we lost as many toys as this guy did.
Also also, I’m pretty sure Sid grows up to be Mr. Sinister from X-Men. That child needs Jesus.
Without the benefit of nostalgia, some of the movie’s themes didn’t hit me as hard today as they probably did y’all in 1995 (while I was watching Batman Forever or listening to ODB’s album, I guess). More recent films like the LEGO Movies had a bigger emotional punch and did a stronger job humanizing the hunks of plastic. No shade though, this was very good and gets props for being a pioneer, it’s just nowhere near GOAT status for me.
4 stars out of 5
A Bug’s Life is next and I have absolutely no clue what that’s supposed to be about. I’ll probably confuse it with the plot of Ant-Man.