Class is in session, and it’s time for the Joe Clark of these Internetz to give yet another lesson in tough love. Lean on me, playas.
If you’ve got a question for Crazy Joe, here’s where you can find me.
Send your inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here’s today’s question:
Is it a smart or dumb move to tattoo your love’s name on you?
Many of you reading this know my loving wife. She brilliant. Driven. Empowering. And she adores your boy.
For years she’s been considering a tattoo and has been weighing her options. One day, I asked if she would get a tattoo of my name, to show her devotion for the end of time.
The woman who loves me more than anyone else looked at me and flat out said “Uh, no.”
And I was like:
I know some of y’all have already run to the comments section to wish death upon my unborn child. But for those who haven’t jumped on the Overreaction Express, hear a brother out.
Full disclosure: I don’t think I’ll ever have a desire to get a tattoo. I can be a fickle guy — knowing that something could be stuck on my body till the end of time isn’t appealing to me.
I mean, I once liked Steve Urkel. An Urkel tat would be all ironic and hipster n’ stuff in 1993. But 10 years later, not so much. Actually, 10 months later, not so much.
That said, I also don’t mind people with tattoos. Well-designed, intriguing tats are very attractive.
But not this. This looks like you slept in a bed made of comic strips.
But I digress, we’re talking about name tats here. I think getting a name tat as a memorial is a fine gesture, one that I respect. But beyond that, things get dicey.
Branding yourself with someone else’s name is like signing up for disaster. Now, I’m sure the love you have for the guy you met two weeks ago at Sunglass Hut will last forever and ever, but tattoos to honor a significant other are often an unnecessary show of affection — especially if the inspiration for your ink betrays you one day.
My wife said it best “I love you now, but what if you do something crazy?” She doesn’t need my name on her to prove devotion. Those words go without saying.
If you already have a name tat, cool. The world didn’t stop spinning, so yay for you and your dermatologist. But if you haven’t gotten one and you’re thinking about taking the plunge, I’m just asking that you think twice.
Honestly, don’t get a tat of your boo because he or she might leave you. Don’t get a tat of your boo because, in my opinion, it’s unnecessary. Their love shouldn’t change either way.
If my tatted-up readers are done being mad at me, let’s hit Question No. 2:
What do you do when you’re a little too good at being alone? You know you’re feeling an itch to be boo’d up. How do you get into a relationship without making the person feel inadequate because you’re used to being by yourself?
What up, DC, it’s been a minute since we’ve heard from you.
So let me get this straight: Are you asking how perpetually single people can adjust to being in new relationships?
If that’s not what you’re asking … um, too bad. We’ll stick with my version of the facts for now.
Look playa, we all need our space. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to commit all of your time 25/8. Every relationship needs breathing room. So spend time with your new boo, but make clear that you’ll need time for yourself too. Make sure you state that upfront, in case your boy gets too clingy.
I’m not saying you should run off to Costa Rica every weekend but giving yourself downtime will help both of you. Plus, that absence always makes the heart grow fonder.