Love Letters: Why Is Interracial Dating Still An Issue?

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Here’s today’s question:

Why do people still feel some kind of way about interracial dating in 2013?


This year we celebrate 50 years since the height of the civil-rights movement and on Monday we reinstalled the first black president in office – on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, no less.

But I’m sorry, playa, we’re still a divided society.

Years ago, I had a conversation with a group of female African-American friends about interracial dating. I told ’em that I’ve dated many different races and they rolled their eyes. I asked if they would have a problem if my soon-to-be wife was wife was white and they said, emphatically, yes, they’d have a problem.

Now before you scream DATZ RAYSISSSS, back off a bit. There’s a reason for that mentality. Some feel interracial dating is a culture clash. Some are intimidated by what “society” might whisper.

And here’s the biggest concern I’ve heard, especially from black folks – that dating outside of your race somehow betrays your ethnicity.

For decades, images in the media have made black women feel inferior to other races. Black women are too dark, too curvy, their lips are too big, their hair is too kinky, they’re money-grubbing meanies, etc., etc., et cetera. Oh, and black men get it too – we’re irresponsible, too aggressive, lazy, yadda yadda.

Go ahead and let all those excuses cloud your judgement. You’ll probably wind up missing out on a really good person.

Yes, you need to be culturally compatible with your mate. But that goes WAY beyond melanin, or the lack thereof. You want a lasting relationship? Find a person who shares similar interests, beliefs, goals and views on life. Those things transcend color lines.

And yes, I know full well that there are morons running around here saying “I’m giving up on black men! Imma get me a Eye-talian!” or “Man, I’m sick of black chicks, umma find me a Latin chica.” Color-coding your dating life is laughable. You’ll just wind up with the same sorry relationships, only in a different shade.

I married a black woman. But if Javacia Harris was white, Martian or one of those blue things from Avatar, I’d STILL marry her. The content of her character is way more important than the color of her skin. Hmmm, I think I’ve heard something like that before.

Don’t let ridiculous prejudices, society’s stigmas or ignorant family members dictate whom you should and shouldn’t date. Simply find someone who makes you happy, supports you and loves you for who you are.

Once we realize that we’ll finally understand Dr. King’s 50-year-old dream.



  1. Knowledge giving Article! I appreciate you. I completely agree with you. If we talk about current scenario then it is must be update. I enjoyed reading. I would like to visit more for more queries.
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  2. At the end of the day, you’ll still want that person whom you can connect with, talk to, and be intimate with.

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  3. Generally due to external pressures,No one should date interracially and Dating interracially with misguided motives will inevitably lead to problems.

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