10 Things That Should Be Inside the 2012 Time Capsule

Ah, 1992. Such a simpler time. There was no World Star Hip Hop for juvenile delinquents to incriminate themselves, gas was a mere buck and kids watched Nickelodeon instead of toxic VH1 reality shows.

Speaking of Nick, Mental Floss recently revealed the contents of a time capsule the studio buried in 1992. It won’t be opened until 2042 but I guess they decided to spill the beans since they expect us all to be in our graves by then thanks to cell phone radiation.

Check out the contents of the capsule here. An MC Hammer album, Game Boy and old ’90s movies are among the treasures. Is it sad that I still own all that stuff? Still, it was a nice, nostalgic stroll down memory lane.

But it got me to thinking – if today’s youth were allowed to make selections for a 2012 time capsule, what would they want generations to see 50 years from now? What best represents their culture?

People of 2062, witness the legacy of 2012.

1. Weave from one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and/or one of those women from Love & Hip Hop.

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The most popular show among our teens. These Are Our Heroes.

2. The pinnacle of personal communication, the iPhone.

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Preferrably containing naked pics of your favorite R&B singer. That’s how you promote an album in 2012.

3. A plate of wings from Rick Ross, the most popular rapper in the world.

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Sorry, that’s all that was left.

4. Skinny jeans, the era’s most popular fashion trend for men.

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This also will explain men’s low sperm count in 2062.

5. A PDF of UrbanDictionary.com 

Kids of the future can learn what “lean” is, and how to decipher text message slang. OMG, it’s educational, LOLWUT!? SMH…

6. A list of Twitter trending topics.

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What’s on the mind of our young social media At the time of this posting, the top trends in the lovely city of Birmingham were #USayUBoutThatLifeBut, #A90sBabyKnows, and of course, Love & Hip Hop.

And y’all thought I was exaggerating about that show.

7. A pair of Air Yeezy’s, Kanye West’s ugly knockoff Jordans.

These shoes somehow sold on eBay for $90,000. Kids of 2062 are gonna be mighty confused when they read about the 2012 economic downturn.

8. Some sort of vampire stuff. 

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The wifey suggests that gross-looking True Blood drink derived from the HBO show. Feel free to substitute some kindergarten glitter to represent Twilight, or throw in one of those kids from that horrid Vampire Diaries show. Or maybe some bath salts – apparently they turn people into vampires. Or zombies. Or crackheads, I can’t remember.


9. A whole bunch of Madea movies.





Cuz nothing says cinematic art like a tall black man pretending to be a tall sassy grandma pretending to be a kind-hearted gangsta.

10. A blank CD, so hip hop fans can download Dr. Dre’s Detox when it’s finally released in 2062.

I’m just kidding. DETOX IS NEVER COMING OUT.

And a bonus addition to our capsule…

11. Me.

I’m locking myself in that time capsule – hopefully life be improved when they release me in 2062.


2012, we need to do better.

What other items deserve to be in the 2012 time capsule?

4 Comments

  1. Well this is a fun exercise…here’s my list:
    1. Justin Bieber
    2. 2012 Olympics Stamps
    3. Nicki Minaj tiny fans
    4. Wilbur as a Monday Morning Mojo representative
    5. iPad (duh)
    6. Donkey & Elephant for the elections
    7. Cloud for cloud-based services
    8. Food trucks
    9. I’d love to throw a Gen Z kid in there
    10. gif images

  2. Wilbur! I miss him. But he won’t be the same without his voice actor.

  3. How could you forget……..TWO CHAINSSSSSSSS!

  4. Lord, don’t remind me.

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