It’s a new year – are you looking for a new start? We’re running low on Love Letter submissions, so if you have a burning question, submit it now for a quick turnaround. But be warned, you know I keep it real.
Send your inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here’s today’s question:
Why is it that some men will diss you then down the road contact you like nothing happened? What’s up with that?
Not a Welcome Mat
For some reason, most people assume that the wifey and I have always had the perfect relationship, that we never argue and that our living room is filled with singing forest animals. Sorry playa, our life isn’t always a Disney movie. Especially when we first dated.
Back in 2002, when we were in that awkward “are we dating or aren’t we?” phase, we drifted apart to explore other relationships.
Oh, why front – y’all know I keep it real. For the first time ever, your boy got dumped.
I know, right? Crazy. But it’s all good, cuz I won in the end. As if there was any doubt.
Anyway, we went about a month without contact and then, randomly on the day after Thanksgiving, The Queen of Georgia Mae herself randomly called me talking about that new Justin Timberlake album (which was all kinds of bangin’, by the way).
Although it seemed she fell off the earth and contacted me “like nothing happened” during our time apart she was actually weighing her options and sorting out her feelings. When she popped up, we took things slow and finally started dating that summer.
With the benefit of hindsight, I understand why the wifey took her Edd sabbatical. But whenever someone seemingly cuts off a relationship and then reappears out of the blue it’s pretty freaking aggravating (sorry, wifey). There are tons of reasons why this happens: Fear of commitment; testing other waters; seeking time to sort out unresolved feelings; or (as most of y’all assume) just straight-up creepin’.
The real question is, are you willing to accept them back? As long as the vanisher makes clear why he or she went AWOL and their recommitment seems genuine, I think it’s OK to reconcile. Of course you are under no obligation to take them back, but if you do move on don’t hang it over their heads. We all make mistakes (yes, even YOU).
The choice is yours and you really have to feel out the situation. If it feels right, rebuild those bridges. Don’t miss out on a good thing.