Love Letters: Signs O’ the Times

We’re running low on submissions to Love Letters, so if you have a burning question, now’s the time to submit it. You’ll likely receive an answer fairly quickly.

Ladies, send your inquiries to, or find me on twitter at @etbowser. Dudes, you can get in touch with Javacia at Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

How can you tell if a guy is into a girl? What are the signs? (Example: women smile, twirl their hair, make eye contact, etc). 

Diva Deciphering Signals

Uh, if you’re waiting on a guy to twirl his hair to show interest, prepare to wait a long, long time.

Unless you’re talking about this dude:

Girl, you look so good, someone ought to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit. 

No, it’s tough to tell if a guy is into a woman by mere body language. Despite our shallow reputations, we dudes are a bit more complex than that. I contend that the window to a man’s heart is through his actions. All guys are different, but general signs of interest include: attentiveness, picking up on things you say, remembering funny anecdotes and bringing them up later, and willingness to invest time to get to know you better.

Keep in mind that these are just signs that the guy is showing interest.  It does not mean you should compile your wedding playlist just because some guy remembered your cat’s birthday.

And here’s another pitfall – please, ladies, don’t play the Mind Reading Game.

You know what I mean. “Girl, if he REALLY likes me, he’ll buy me that flat screen I keep mentioning – I’ve been dropping hints all week.” That’s an extremely materialist example, but here’s the point – don’t punish a  guy because he didn’t show interest in the way you envisioned. Men aren’t mind readers and we’re all different. Your last boyfriend might have bought you roses every other week but that doesn’t mean the new guy doesn’t care about you if he doesn’t do the same.

As I’ve said a million times before, take time get to know your guy and eventually you’ll pick up on vibes that show he cares.

Next time you see him bat his eyes, don’t get excited. It’s probably just an eyelash.


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