Love Letters: Love @ 1st Sight

The questions just keep on coming. Ladies, you must be trying to mark your territory – Valentine’s Day will be here in a month. I know how y’all think.

Ladies, send your inquiries to, or find me on twitter at @etbowser. Dudes, you can get in touch with Javacia at Just provide your initials.

Here’s today’s question:

Do men really know when they find “the one” immediately upon meeting them?

Eyes on the Prize, s.f.

I’ll start this by recounting the day I first laid eyes on my future wifey.

I was chatting with a mutual friend at work when I spotted Javacia walking on the other side of the office. She had to be about 25-30 feet away. Still, I could tell from a distance that beneath all that hair was a fine woman.

Like any well-manner gentleman, I turned to my friend and said “OH LORD, who is that!?”

She said, “Oh that’s my new roommate, Javacia. She’s cool. Want me to hook you up?”

I replied, “Playa, no. What if she’s crazy?”

I was right about her being crazy, of course.

A week or two later, I finally met Javacia but I wouldn’t say there were fireworks going off. Sure, she was attractive and cool but I wasn’t emptying my savings to buy an engagement ring. It wasn’t until about a month later when we starting hanging out with mutual friends that we developed chemistry.

A LOT of my friends ask “when was the moment that you knew she was the one?” There wasn’t a specific moment. We got to know each other and over time the relationship grew and blossomed.

I personally don’t know any man who knew their partner was “the one” immediately after meeting her. It’s easy to determine if a woman has the traits of a good wife during an initial meeting, which sows seeds for a developing a relationship. But you won’t find guys saying “Imma marry her!” unless they’re trying to tie the knot in a hurry – or drunk in a strip club. Many men tend not to rush stepping into long-term relationships.

Ladies, PLEASE take time to get to know a man before jumping the gun, jumping the broom and/or jumping in the bed. As we’ve discussed before, letting the relationship mature will alleviate a LOT of headaches down the road.

And just remember the four romantic words I chose when I first laid eyes on Javacia: “What if she’s crazy?”



  1. Heck of job Eddie. By the way this is Matt. I think “love at first sight” is different for different people. Of course your going to have that select few people who suffer from the “Romeo and Juliet syndrome” and fall in love on the spot. However I agree with you and that it takes time to to figure out if he/she is the one…. Too many variables can dislodge relationships now days.

  2. Love @ First Sight is so not real! But I know I’m a special case cause it’s rare I am attracted to anyone period.

    I tend to believe people who think right off that “this is the one I will marry” are just desperate to be with someone.

    And yes Javacia is crazy.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.