Love Letters: Communication Skills

Ladies, need to get into a brother’s head? Fellas, wanna know what your girl is thinking about? We’re here to help.

Ladies, send your inquiries to, or find me on twitter at @etbowser. Dudes, you can get in touch with Javacia at Just provide your initials.

Here’s today’s question:

Why do men lack communication skills? They expect you to be mind readers. s.c.

Here’s my question – why do WOMEN lack communication skills? They expect you to be mind readers!

That’s a problem we all deal with, no matter which chromosomes we’re lugging around. Admittedly, guys do have a tougher time expressing themselves. Why? Cuz it ain’t manly.

I know it’s cliche, but it’s the truth.

Boys are taught that showing emotion is weak. Real men don’t cry. Real men aren’t affectionate. Real men don’t talk about their problems – suck it up and stop whining. We were taught this by our fathers, grandfathers, coaches – it was drilled into our heads from birth. Women have to be a bit more patient in trying to get some of us to open up.

But that doesn’t mean that you have to live with miscommunication. As adults, men need to learn to clearly state their issues. Ladies, sit down with your man and let him know that you’re there for him, that he can confide in you and remind him that your relationship is a partnership – it only works when there is unity on both sides. Reassure him that it’s OK for him to talk about things.

Oh, but ladies, you aren’t off the hook.

Y’all have similar issues. Dropping “hints” to get us to read your minds is not going to work. I told the wifey long ago – if you have an issue with me or something I do, just say it. Don’t expect guys to pick up on subtle hints, then get mad when they don’t. We’re too grown for guessing games.

Y’all know I have no problem saying what’s on my mind. That’s why your favorite R&B singers hate me. You should adopt a similar philosophy. Clearing the air might sting at first, but it’s worth it in the long run.


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