Edd’s MANtra: Trial and Error

March 3, 2010Edward Bowsercelebrity dish, Edd's MANtra, music0

Somehow, some way, Lil Wayne is still walking the street as a free man.

Remember that pesky gun charged he picked up a few years back? Sentencing was finally set to go down today, until this happened. From xxlmag.com:

Court spokesman David Bookstaver told the AP that the sentencing was among proceedings canceled due a basement fire at a Lower Manhattan courthouse. The court will be closed for the remainder of the day.

I’m sure if you or I had received that gun charge, the bailiffs would have just thrown us into the flames.

This isn’t Weezy’s first stroke of luck. The original sentencing was supposed to go down last month, but was delayed so he could go to the dentist. At first I thought it was just a convenient excuse – until I discovered that he had to endure EIGHT root canals to fix his jacked-up chompers.

Kids, this is why you shouldn’t wear grills. I wouldn’t be surprised if that fool brushed his teeth while WEARING his grill. That’s like people who skip taking a shower, spray cologne on their shirt and think they’re clean.

That’s that undercover funk.

But back to the fire. Oral surgery is one thing, courtroom blazes are another. Sounds mighty fishy to me. And since I’m a firm believer in guilty until proven innocent, I blame this dude.

Think about it – who has the most to lose from Wayne’s sabbatical? Look at him – the guy apparently does nothing but sit around eating and getting tattoos. Whenever he decides to release an album he just steals a bunch of Wayne’s old songs. All his former associates realized he was a leech and jumped ship long ago.

Sure Wayne’s proteges Bert and the blow-up doll have a lot of buzz, but they’re unproven commodities. But people flock to anything Wayne puts out, even that horrible “rock” CD he put out a few months back. Baby didn’t want to lose his meal ticket.

Don’t be surprised next week to hear that the trial has been postponed yet again because the judge has been tied to a set of railroad tracks.

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