Edd’s MANtra: No Soulja Boy in ’09, please

Enough is enough. I’ve held my tongue all year, but I must, nay, it’s my DUTY, to address this.

Soulja Boy, the walking minstrel show that just won’t go away, has been running his mouth all year. Here are a few lowlights:

– He got into a war of words with rap pioneer Ice-T, calling him “old as f***” and dissed him for being born “three centuries ago.”

– Totally dismissed Wu-Tang’s GZA aka The Genius, saying “he’s got like 50 years on me. I wouldn’t even associate with the Genius….he said ‘F*** Soulja Boy’ ’cause he needed a buzz.”

– And the little sun-dried turd even had the nerve to give props to the slave trade! “Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we’d still be in Africa. We wouldn’t be here to get this ice and tattoos.”

Sure, these comments made my blood boil, but they were made by a guy who’s obviously mentally challenged. No one with a fully functioning brain could come up with that “Crank Dat” song and dance.

But today, the gloves come off. Look what I ran across at xxlmag.com:

In a video that recently hit the net, teen rap sensation Soulja Boy accused Queensbridge vet Nas of killing hip-hop. “Real talk, the n**** that killed hip-hop for real is Nas, dawg,” he said. “He came out publicly and said hip-hop is dead, and then after that everybody start saying [it]. Cause think about it, if Nas woulda never said hip-hop is dead then mof****** woulda never thought it died. They woulda never had that terminology.”

You can diss veterans like Ice T and GZA, you can even make yourself look like a total idiot by supporting the slave trade, but to diss Nas!? He thinks Nas, one of the few decent guys left, is killing hip hop? Does he want Nas to get pissed and drop another “Ether” track on him? Is he stupid!?

Well, obviously.

For those who don’t remember, Nas’ 2006 album was entitled Hip Hop is Dead, and it triggered lots of discussion about the direction of the genre. So, I guess Soulja Boy’s theory is that if no one ever said “hip hop is dead” that people wouldn’t realize how crappy songs are these days.

Uh huh.

A better question would be why he would bring up this up nearly three years later.

From xxlmag again:

“He came out with that s*** and f***** up everybody’s money. He killed his own career with that s***. He shoulda thought about it.”

So he’s worried that Nas has damaged his own career? Yeah Nas’ latest album has sold around 400,000 copies so far, much less than Hip Hop Is Dead’s 764,000. But I’m sure he doesn’t give a crap about Nas. No, Soulja Boy’s mad because people finally recognize that HE sucks.

Soulja Boy’s new album, iSouljaBoyTellEm, (UGH, even his titles suck) has sold a paltry 46,000. That’s nowhere near the success of his last album, which sold 117,000 in its first WEEK. He currently has THREE singles out now – “Bird Walk,” “Gucci Bandana” and “Kiss Me Through The Phone” – and I’ve only heard the bandana song once. Remember when they were playing “Soulja Girl” nonstop? Times are a changin’.

And you know what’s funny? He realizes how wack he is! From sohh.com:

“I started hopping on songs with like Juelz Santana and Gucci (Mane) and all these different artists and you know they on the verses just killing me. I’m like, ‘Oh I gotta come wit it.'”

Juelz I can sorta understand, but he can’t keep up with the freaking Gucci Mane?

Check out Gucci’s verse from his one “hit,” “Icy”:

My pockets so heavy that I can’t walk steady N***** copping ice we done done it already

Maya Angelou, it ain’t.

Soulja Boy dissing Nas is like the chumps who did “Who Let The Dogs Out” dissing Biggie. His career won’t make it into the new year. He’d better hope VH1 decides to create “Celebrity Rehab – Juvenile Edition.” Call Yung Berg and the scraps of B2K while you’re at it.

You can fool some of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

You suck, playa. Go away now.