When is it okay to give up the goodies?

The ladies over at Daily Bedpost, a pretty fun blog that’s “all about sex,” posed this question yesterday, “Should a woman not have sex on a first date?” and had a few guys weigh in with advice. To summarize, the “gay engaged guy” said you should not shag on the first date but that you should pretend like you want to but then feign an emergency and leave so you get cool points for wanting to hit the sack. The “straight married guy” recommends waiting while the “straight single guy” thinks you should just go for it if you’re “emotionally balanced” enough.

Click here to read the complete answer.

Now that I’m an old married lady I don’t have to deal with this issue, but I’ll admit that when I was single I never put out on a first date, or even a second one for that matter. When it came to giving up my goodies, I was pretty old fashioned. But I want to add that the only reason we’re having this conversation is because of the double standards regarding sex. If a woman has sex on a first date she’s seen as easy or even a slut by some people, but if a man has sex on a first date he gets a pat on the back. But I digress.

What do you think? If a woman wants to have sex on a first date, should she do it?



  1. well i think in the “single world” these days you are expected to at least by the second date. if not don’t expect there to be a third.

    but anyway if the woman wants to on the first date she has the right to do that. although she may be labeled slutty.

  2. I’ll probably lose street cred for this response, but who cares, I’m off the market anyway.

    NEVER, EVER EVER give it up on the first date. NEVER. And your boy is here to tell you why.

    On a first date, there are three scenarios we men encounter:

    #1 – We really like the woman and we’re very excited about getting to know her better

    #2 – We think the woman is really fine and we really want to hit that

    #3 – We don’t have a strong opinion about the woman yet and the date will help us learn more about her.

    Sex takes relationships to another level and the first date is way too soon to start complicating things. If anyone says that sex won’t change things, they’re lying.

    OK, now let’s throw sex into the equation:

    #1 – We don’t really care about sex at this point – we want to learn more about the woman.

    #2 – We obviously didn’t want a relationship in the first place. Ever throw a party and one of your guests totally ignored you and just ate up all your snacks? Yep, they don’t want you, they just want the GOODIES.

    #3 – First impressions are everything. If we haven’t formed a strong opinion about a woman yet and she’s super eager to give up the booty it’ll come off as slutty.

    Despite what you may have heard, we men struggle with this decision too. Essentially, giving it up early warps the relationship and makes sex the driving factor – and that’ll cause drama for everybody later.

    Get to know your mate before droppin’ the draws. It’ll save money on doctor’s bills too.

  3. if a woman puts out on the first date, then what else is there to look forward to? on the other hand, there is a double standard when it comes to men and women on this subject. if a woman so chooses to give it up on the first date, then that is her prerogative.

  4. Unless the woman just wants to be friends with benifets, then sex on the first day probably won’t lead to much of a relationship. It will just make him think that you do this often and have had a good number of previous partners, which is a big turn off for guys unless the woman is 35+ then its somewhat expected. It’s really only a good idea if you two are already decent friends and then decide to take your friendship to a romatic level and go out on your “first date.” In that scenario a respect level is already established as well as physical attraction.

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