Lyrical Dissection: The Temptations, Silent Night

The day after Thanksgiving isn’t just reserved for credit card debt and old potato salad that’s been sitting out for 36 hours. It’s also, in my opinion, the official start of the Christmas season. That’s the day I break out the music and decorations.


Yeah, you’re likely to hear people playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Shame on them. Also, shame on my neighbor, who has had her Christmas wreath up since LAST Christmas. The sad, raggedy thing inexplicably hung around long enough to somehow become relevant again – just like Tamar Braxton.


But I digress. It’s not truly Christmas until you hear the guttural, ominous salutation from Melvin Franklin – “Merry Christmas, from the Temptations.” Yes, we all love the song, but have you really listened to the lyrics? Let me break it down…
 
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, 

Not even a mouse. 




In my mind,

Ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 




I want you to be free 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 




For all of our friends, 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 




To listen to me 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 




Now hear what I say 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 




We wish you a Merry Christmas (Merry Christmas) 

To each one of you (To all of you)




The song starts with Dennis Edwards getting his Professor X on. Why does he want you to be free “in his mind?” I wish he used his Christmas telekinesis for good, like eliminating all these Justin Bieber holiday songs. He even has Boyz II Men as backup singers! This can’t be life.



Silent night, holy night 

All is calm and all is bright 




Round yon virgin mother and child 

Holy infant, so tender and mild 




Sleep in heavenly peace 

Sleep, sleep in heaven, heavenly peace 


Round yon virgin, huh? Let me call a woman “round”- my night wouldn’t very silent or holy. On a related note, why is the infant “tender and mild?” Only a bunch of brothers would make Jesus sound like an order of hot wings.


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 


Go on and rest you mind 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 


And sleep 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 


Sleep in heavenly peace 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 




Dennis sounds like a ghetto hypnotist with his mind-resting obsession. No wonder this song is so iconic – I think dude has been hypnotizing us into loving it for decades.


Silent night, holy night 

Shepherds quake at the sight 




Glories stream from heaven afar

Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia


Here’s our boy Melvin, with a voice that defines the season yet simultaneously scares small children. Quite a feat. His voice is so deep that I bet NONE of you knew what he was saying in that verse – don’t front. Until now, I thought that last line was “Every ghost sits on the pot.”


Christ the Savior is born 

Oh, yes he is 

Christ, Christ the Savior is born 




Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 


What a joyous day 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 


Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 



Word to the Macho Man.


Silent night, holy night 

(As I sit around by the fireplace, watching the gleaming scene) 




All is calm and all is bright 


(If I had one wish in this world, it would be that all men might be free)




Round yon virgin mother and child 


(Lets all join hands, oooh to celebrate the Savior’s birth)




Holy infant, so tender and mild 


(Lets give thanks unto the world, for Jesus Christ is born) 




Sleep in heavenly peace 

Sleep, sleep in heaven, heavenly peace 




Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh


Just sleep and relax your mind


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 


Tonight I’m gonna get a pocket watch, recite the lyrics above, and attempt to hypnotize the wifey into buying me a 600 inch TV.


Eh, why bother. That’s one Christmas miracle that ain’t happening.


To all our family and friends 


Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 
I want you to remember this line 

Merry Christmas to all of you 
(and we mean it)
Merry Christmas to all of you 




Not sure why they had to emphasize that they really, really mean to wish us a merry Christmas. Haven’t they been doing that the entire song, between verses of comparing children to chicken?


Now that I think about it, this must be Rick Ross’ favorite song.

Merry Christmas from The Temptations.


Murry Chrimuh from Georgia Mae!