I’m a grown man who hasn’t seen most of the Pixar movies that people are obsessed with, but I was challenged to check ’em all out and share my thoughts. Join me as I watch ’em all one by one – see if I buy into the hype.
Movie No. 7: Cars (2006)
This Pixar experiment y’all got me on has been pretty fun so far but I have to admit, this is the first movie that was kind of a chore to sit through.
That said, it wasn’t as bad as I was led to believe. It might be because I have a soft spot for racing – maybe it’s because I come from a family of car fanatics, or the fact that I spent a few years working with Team Valvoline’s drivers, or perhaps it’s that in 2020 NASCAR has proven to be more socially progressive than the NFL.
What a time to be alive.
The film itself starts out mad predictable, the usual fish outta water tale (not Nemo) where it takes the grounded southerners to teach the deluded loudmouth to act like an adult.
Story of my life.
It’s about as interesting as a movie about a car paving a street could be. Which is, not very. It felt like I was watching My Cousin Vinny: The Autobot Years.
I’m also confused by this world. Are the cars the dominate species? If so, why was there a minivan with a mattress fit for a human strapped on top? Is it like Toy Story where the cars are alive but people don’t realize it? If the cows are tractors and beetles are little car beetles, are there no animals? These are the questions I asked myself to keep from nodding off.
The most interesting part in the first half is when Lightning disses rusty cars and then tells the rusty tow truck “oh but not like YOU, you’re one of the good ones!” RUST RACISM!!!! But they hopped over that plot point quickly.
Thankfully things picked way up in second half with the Hudson Hornet reveal and the commentary about the demise of small-town America. THAT’s the nuance that pulled me into the previous six movies. Pixar works best as kids’ movies that people with mortgages and student loans can enjoy. For the most part, this one just felt preschool.
This is also the first movie so far that felt too long for the story they were telling. They spent so much time arguing about street paving that I thought I was sitting in Tuesday morning City Council meeting. This was a two hour film that would be much better served at 90 mins.
By and large, though, this wasn’t a bad movie, it just doesn’t clear the high bar set by the previous films. It’s just a little too long, a little too weird and crams all the good stuff at the end. Basically it’s Pixar’s version of The Life of Pablo, by presidential candidate Kanye West.
Ugh I hate it here.
3.5 stars out of 5
A Bug’s Life
Toy Story 2
Next up it’s Ratatouille, a movie about a rat running around in your delicious food!
And y’all LIKE this movie???