So as we announced a few weeks ago, November is #BlogLikeCrazy month, and that’s REALLY good news for you Love Letter fans. Thanks to the #BlogLikeCrazy challenge I’ve gotta crank out 30 blog posts this month, which means I’ll be digging into the Love Letters inbox early and often. If you’ve got a burning question, now’s the time to hit me up.
Send your inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here’s today’s question:
What do you think about TI saying he checks his daughter’s hymen to make sure she’s still a virgin? Isn’t this just a gross invasion of her privacy? This is ridiculous.
I love when y’all answer the questions for me.
For those of you lucky enough to miss the latest Hashtag Outrage, here’s what went down:
During a recent podcast appearance, TI noted that he’s positive that his 18-year-old daughter is still a virgin because he accompanies her on trips to the gynecologist to check her hymen to make sure it’s still intact.
This man is checking hymens in 2019. My god.
And just to make sure everything’s on the up and up, TI also makes sure she SIGNS PAPERWORK to allow him to stick his nose in her vagina:
I’m like, ‘Deyjah they want you to sign this so we can share information. Is there anything you would not want me to know? See doc? No problem.’ And so then they come and say, ‘Well I just want you to know that there are other ways besides sex that the hymen can be broken like bike riding, athletics, horseback riding and just other forms of athletic physical activity.’ So I say, ‘Look doc, she don’t ride no horses, she don’t ride no bike, she don’t play no sports. Just check the hymen please and give me back my results expeditiously.’”
By the way, this is the SAME TI who was known for creeping on wife Tiny at every turn, including getting caught on camera.
Also the SAME TI whose 15-year-old son King has admitted that he’s sexually active. TI’s response? “I definitely feel different about a boy than about a girl. That’s just the God’s honest truth.”
Is this your King of the South?
Let’s go ahead and dispel the hymen myth, since TI is clearly still living in the year 1925 or something. Hymen health is NOT an indicator of sexual activity. Even TI noted himself that a hymen can be broken through physical activity like sports, so what’s the point of this Inspector Gadget cosplay? And, sorry to break it to you Tip, but a hymen can also remain intact through intercourse. Your little cheat code doesn’t hold up.
There’s a reason why even the World Health Organization has deemed virginity tests unethical and inhumane. There is no scientific validity to them and only serves to take a psychological toll on women.
And that’s what bothers me the most about all of this. Everyone’s ranting about hymens and hypocrisy when y’all are missing the real issue – the problematic shaming women for sexuality. At the risk of mansplaining like TI would, I’ll step back and let my girl Kimberly Madison, a mother of two girls, give you that real:
Even if we push the hypocrisy aside, this sends the terrible message that her worth/goodness is wrapped in her “virginity” which is BS. This is why girls/women have these negative self images regarding their sexuality. How bout just shower her with unconditional healthy love and support, trust that she will make good decisions and give her the privacy to get her yearly checkups.
Dads, support your daughters, don’t shame them.