Love Letters: Is It Wrong to Follow Your Ex on Social Media?

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This morning the air is crisp and it feels like fall in Soul in Stereo Studios.

Y’all know what that means – Cuffin’ Season is upon us. Before you link up with that wintertime fling, holla at me so we can make sure he/she/they ain’t complete trash.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Is it cool to follow your ex on social media?


See, I know I’m the old married man in the room,but when I get questions like this, I only have one response.


If the relationship is over, what’s the point of trying to keep tabs? It would be like trying to reuse soiled toilet paper.

Your booty deserves that new-new, not that old crust.

But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt – let’s say this is a purely platonic thing and you’re friends with your ex. In that case, I’m OK with a follow under these circumstances:

  • You’re completely transparent with your new partner about it
  • That you’re not flirting in DMs or sending any other mixed signals
  • That you’re not going through liking 200 photos in a row like some kind of creepy unsub on Criminal Minds

I’ve said a billion times around here that maintaining platonic relationships (even through social media) is perfectly OK as long as you, your new boo and your old boo are mature enough to handle with care.

But with so many factors in play, that kind of maturity is asking a lot.

So while my initial response would be “playa please,” I think it’s OK to follow your ex as long as it doesn’t drift into cyber stalking.

Cuz if that’s the case, this could be your future:

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Question No. 2:

So recently I started talking to a young man I went to high school with. I told him I always thought he was cute. He said that he always thought I had nice curves and a beautiful smile. Is it safe to say he always had a thang for me?


The funniest thing about adulthood is now that the pressures of high school cliques and drama are no longer an issue, everyone is free to be freaky adults now.

I’ve had several women tell me “oh I thought you were so cute back in high school.” Yeah TOO BAD YOU MISSED OUT WHILE YOU WERE OUTCHEA CHASING FOOTBALL JOCKS AND FAKE PRETTY BOYS FOR CLOUT

Not that I’m bitter or anything.

So yeah, it’s entirely possible that he was also feeling you back then.

But since you were the first to admit your feelings to your crush he COULD see this as a possible smash session and is just laying on the complements to reel you in closer.

You’d better listen to Mariah and proceed with caution. Don’t get caught up.


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