Since I received this week’s question in various forms from several people, I figured I’d move it to the front of the line to tackle this timely topic.
Well, “timely” is a stretch since it happened like a week ago. Give me a break, you’re getting this column FO FREE.
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Here’s today’s question:
What is your take on the recent comments made by Ayesha Curry in regards to her not receiving attention from the opposite sex? Do you think the comments were disrespectful to her husband?
Playa, between the Ayesha Curry controversy and people fussing about Game of Thrones, this past week nearly made me swear off social media for good. I haven’t seen this many people so loud and so wrong since Trump’s last rally.
Oh, and speaking of Game of Thrones, let me settle this right now for the record:
THAT DRAGON LADY BEEN CRAZY.
Not sure which show y’all been watching for the past eight years.
Anyway, to the topic at hand. First a disclaimer – usually in this space I answer a lot of questions from women. While I have no problem talking about the male psyche or offering advice to women who personally solicit it, I typically stay away from questions that involve me discussing what goes on in the female mind. Telling y’all how a woman feels about an issue borders on mansplaining, and that’s wack.
However, in this case, since I’ve had a lot of input from married women – emphasis on MARRIED – who have cosigned my thoughts on this I think it’s cool to discuss.
For those who thankfully missed this drama, a recap: Ayesha Curry, wife of Golden State Warriors star Steph Curry, was interviewed on Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook Watch series Red Table Talk, and opened up about her insecurities, saying that she’s insecure about the groupies who lurk around her nice-guy husband and that she struggles with the fact that she no longer gets attention from men:
“I have zero—this sounds weird—but, like, male attention. So then I begin to internalize it and I’m like, ‘Is something wrong with me?’ I don’t want it, but it would be nice to know that someone’s looking.”
Social media, who has long had a bone to pick with Ayesha due to her so-called judgmental, good-girl image, wasted no time dragging her for filth, yelling at her for looking for attention outside of home, and even digging up an old tweet during her engaged days where she complained about getting ogled:
Listen, I know your parents told y’all that no matter the topic, your opinion matters.
Well, I ain’t your daddy, so let me tell you that real:
If you’re not married, your opinion is irrelevant. This. Convo. Ain’t. For. You.
Take it from someone who has been married for well over a decade – you’re a completely different person pre- and post-broom jumping.
When you’re engaged, it’s all fresh and new and exciting and ALL ABOUT your significant other. That is the only person in your line of vision.
But fast forward some years. When you’ve been married for an extended period, some women (especially young mothers) feel like their identity becomes lost in motherhood. You’re so wrapped up in diapers and laundry and school and sports and inlaws and bills and life that the confidence and sexiness you once had gets buried.
Ayesha is NOT saying she wants to cheat. It’s not even really about Steph, whom I’m sure does his best to give her affection. She’s saying that she wants to feel desirable, that she still has it. And as we get older, especially in the day-to-day grind it’s easy for men AND women to lose those feelings. And it’s even worse in her case, when women are up in her man’s face on the daily.
If any of these Ayesha critics actually BOTHERED TO WATCH THE INTERVIEW instead of, you know, rambling on social media without proper context, they’d see that Jada AGREED with her and admitted she struggled with similar feelings. These are normal feelings we go through.
Trust me, young’n, you will go through them too.
I applaud Ayesha for being honest and I don’t think they were intentionally disrespectful to her husband. And in case you were wondering, Steph has been very supportive during this time, as a husband should.
Instead of judging their marriage, pray you get one as strong as theirs.