Love Letters: Should a Democrat date a Republican?

fight the power

Sorry folks, it’s been a minute since I’ve dug into the Love Letters mailbag. Blame it on the crushing amount of new music that needed reviewing over the past two months. It certainly hasn’t been a dull summer.

But if you’re ready for your love life to heat up, you stopped by the right place.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

I have found a true soulmate. Now my issue is: I’m an avid Democrat and he’s a devout Republican. What am I to do? I feel like this is a dealbreaker.



There’s no possible way I can talk about this without pissing somebody off.

But when has that stopped me before?


If this is the part where you expect me to proclaim one political party evil and the other virtuous, I hope you like being disappointed. I’ve had issues with both parties over the years and, until very recently, never voted strictly along party lines.

It’s similar to my thoughts on the music business – I support good music, period, no matter who releases it. I don’t stan and make excuses for specific artists “in a show of unity,” or whatever. Likewise, I support good ideas and vote to support them, no matter which party that idea comes from.

HOWEVER, I have no qualms saying that the current face of the Republican Party is a vile, divisive egomaniac who continues to tear away at our moral fabric and that anyone who voted for him is complicit in our country’s current state of disarray.


And that’s where JP’s question comes in. But for me, it’s not so much a political party issue as it is a morality issue.

We’ve talked before about the old Bible proverb about being unequally yoked – coming from the farming principle that two oxen have to be the same size and strength to get work done. If one is stronger or bigger than the other, it throws the system off balance. Instead of plowing the fields in a straight line, you wind up going in circles.

Hmm, going in circles sounds like a lot of y’all’s social media arguments, if you ask me.

So is it OK for JP, a Democrat, to date an avid Republican? The answer is simple – and it’s really no different than the questions you should be asking before moving into any long-term relationship: Your beliefs must align. If not, move on.

It is important for you and your partner to be on the same page on the issues that mean the most to you. Are you pro-life and your partner pro-choice? Are you Black Lives Matter while your boo screams All Lives Matter? If you’re devoutly religious and spend dozens of hours a month volunteering at your church, how would that work if your partner staunchly atheist?

You could both be registered Democrats but if y’all don’t align on the above issues, it’s not gonna work out.

Remember, political parties are merely labels. Don’t look at this as red vs blue – just make sure both your hearts are in the same place.

Ooh and speaking of hearts, what you got for us, KJ?

Do you think we have one great love of our life? Or a number of great loves that will come into our hearts?


That’s a shockingly deep question. I’m just used to y’all asking me to give you the green light to stalk your ex.

I do think it’s possible to have more than one great love. But I don’t think it’s possible to have more than one great love AT THE SAME TIME.

That type of love can only be achieved by two people totally committing and giving their all to each other. If circumstances end that love prematurely, I think it can be cultivated elsewhere down the line. But, nah, I don’t think it’s possible to juggle two soul mates at once.

Ugh, Two Soul Mates (At Once) sounds like a Drake song.


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