I finally had a few moments to catch up on my collection of relationship inquiries from you fine readers. Today, longtime contributor DW gets the spotlight.
If you want to join in, here’s how:
Send your inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here’s today’s question:
Is it tacky and rude to propose at a wedding?
Yeah, this question proves how large my Love Letters backlog is. Sorry I was tardy to the party.
Anyway, DW passed along this question last month when the photo of a marriage proposal at a wedding went viral. Every bitter bride-to-be on Facebook was furious. But according to the bride, she was all for this spotlight-stealing intrusion.
She’s a good friend. Most women would not be so kind.
And I don’t blame them.
As a man a few months away from his 10th wedding anniversary, I can tell you, unequivocally, that a wedding day is all about the bride.
Yes, I know it’s also about two hearts becoming one and unity candles and the Cupid Shuffle and open bars (expect at my wedding cuz y’all ain’t getting drunk off my dime), but let me reiterate:
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BRIDE.
It’s her day – all eyes are on her. So what’s the point, marriage proposers, of making it about you?
It’s like when people go to funerals – a celebration of the life of a loved one – and someone rolls up in the church fussing about what THEY’RE owed. I know how y’all do: “He would have wanted ME to have that laptop!” “Who gonna get that car? You know my car been in the shop sooooo long….” “Did he leave me any money? He knows it’s been soooooooo hard out here these past few years….”
Pull that trash at my funeral and I’ll hop right out of that casket on you.
Anyway, I can understand why a brother might want to propose to his girl at a wedding. The atmosphere is romantic, you already have a captive audience, there’s cake RIGHT THERE to celebrate – but even if the bride and groom sign off on it, it’s still extremely tacky.
bride and groom bride have her day. It’s all about her. Not you and your boo.
Y’all can wait till tomorrow.
QUESTION NO. 2
When having ladies night and you’re approached by a man wanting to buy you a drink, should the young lady expect him to buy her girlfriends a drink also?
Now I know I’ve been off the market for a few years, but let me get this straight:
So a guy is interested in a young lady at a fine evening establishment. He politely walks up to her and asks if she’d like a drink.
But then all the other vultures circling around ol’ girl are supposed to get a drink too? If I were to holla at a girl in the grocery store, am I supposed to buy the groceries of everyone on Aisle 9 too? What part of the game is this?
I’m glad my pimpin’ jersey has been retired. Y’all play too much.
Listen, if Scrooge McDuck has enough bread to buy the bar and hand out drinks to every woman in a 50-miles radius of the one girl he’d like to talk to, more power to him. Sucking up to that girl’s friends definitely won’t hurt his chances.
But if these women are EXPECTING drinks just because they’re hanging around a popular person, the only thing they SHOULD expect is to leave the club with dry throats and hurt feelings. Like the dude proposing at his friend’s wedding, this ain’t ’bout you. So chill.