This week is the Break Baby edition of Love Letters — it’s all about how those unexpected bundles of joy can put your pimpin’ in a pinch.
If you have non-baby related questions, hit me up.
Send your inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here’s today’s question:
In light of the revelation that Breezy had a “break baby” in New Mexico, I pose to you this question: Breezy’s longtime girlfriend left him because of this. Karrueche Tran stated that she did not do baby momma drama. Do you think it’s fair to leave a man or a woman if you find out he or she had a break baby?
Y’all are worried about my Cousin Chris Brown, his new baby and his (alleged) former girlfriend, but how come no one has asked how I feel in all this? We’re talking about my fam, after all.
Plus, this means I’ve gotta come out of pocket for a Christmas present for this child. I have a lot at stake here too, you know.
Nah, I’m just playing. Y’all know I’m not spending money on rich folk.
Anyway, let’s recap for those of you who have better things to do than stare at TMZ tweets all day. About a week ago (bout a week ago) news broke that the sanga turnt rappa turnt felon fathered a daughter with model Nia Guzman-Amey. Of course, Breezy’s long-suffering girlfriend Kakarot SWEARS that this time the relationship is over.
We’ve heard that before, homie. Ol’ Kalamari is like those pitiful women on the Maury show — they catch their man with the Sexy Decoy in the green room, run across the stage and fall on the floor, vow that the relationship is over but then return on the recap like, “Maury, we worked it out!”
But I digress. We’ve discussed “break babies” before — children that are conceived when daters are temporarily separated. And no, I don’t think Karaoke or any other woman is obligated to stay with their partner if he had a baby outside the relationship. I know some will say “well, we were on ‘a break,’ it wasn’t technically cheating.”
I would tell those people to shut up.
Adding a child to the mix completely changes the dynamic of a relationship, one that the partner likely didn’t sign up for. And that person shouldn’t be obligated to stay due to prior commitments. You can’t use some ghetto grandfather clause to slide a baby into a relationship that’s already under repair.
If the woman wants to accept the guy AND break baby, more power to her. But she’s by no means obligated.
And here’s a related question:
Do you think it makes you less marketable the more children you bring into a relationship? For example, if a person has more than one child, is it a turnoff?
Babies R Not Us
Marketable? Playa, we’re talking about a date, not a job interview.
This is another topic I’ve touched on before, and the answer really lies with the dater. Back in my pimpin’ days, I VERY RARELY dated women with kids, only because I didn’t want the child to get attached to me in case the relationship went south.
In my experience, some single daters are turned off by partners with kids, especially multiple kids. That’s not a hard and fast rule though — I’ve had friends who dated men with multiple kids and they’re now one big, happily married family.
Honestly, it might be a bit easier for singles with multiple kids to connect with daters who also have kids of their own. Both daters will be able to relate to the joys of parenthood, and each will have their own set of baby momma/daddy drama to share. So there’s that.
Children are only a turnoff to people who don’t want them. And as a parent, you shouldn’t want to date a person who dislikes kids anyway. Your children are much more important than some new bae.