Love Letters: The Gold Digger Test


It’s about that time again — when Cupid comes a-calling, I ain’t far behind.

If you have questions about love n’ junk, hit me up.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Do you believe in men doing the gold digger test?

What in the world is that?

Before you ask, it’s a test that men are doing to see if a woman really likes them or if they only care about what they have. For example: A guy asks a woman out and they go to a restaurant. He says he has a $25 limit but he really has more money and wants to see her reaction.

She Ain’t Messing Wit No Broke (Broke)

Oh OK, thanks for clearing that up. This test sounds seven shades of stupid to me.

I understand this test in theory, though. I remember once taking a young lady out to dinner. This (child of God) tried to order TWO appetizers, TWO entrees and TWO desserts.

Emphasis on “tried” because I saw through her games like cellophane. Playa I ain’t stocking your fridge for the week!

Even though that scenario proves I have every reason to play this Gold Digger Game, it’s still a pointless exercise.

That’s the problem with these “tests” and “games” daters love to play. People spend so much time trying to be the MacGyver of Mackin’ by outwitting potential partners that they forget the main purpose of dating — to get to know the significant other.

How are you able to get to know a person when you spend every waking moment setting bear traps and infrared scanners hoping that the person screws up?

It’s one thing to keep your eyes open and look for potential problems, it’s another to set your mates up for failure. I mean, if you worried the girl you’re dating is a gold digger, why are you dating her in the first place?

Y’all make dating WAY too hard.  Meet someone, spend time with them and see where things go. Save the tests for your SAT prep class.


Why is it that you can want someone of the opposite sex so badly but when you finally get them it’s a letdown?

Ms. Disappointed

And we also have:

Why is it that we want people so bad but when we finally get them we don’t want them?


So clearly, y’all really want to know about this.

Have you ever had a craving for something — like, McDonald’s fries, for example — but when you get it it’s a total letdown?

Sometimes, those relationships that seem so great in our heads wind up as appealing as cold french fries. I’d rather lick a dirty casket than eat cold fries.

The thrill is in the chase, and it’s easy to lose interest when that relationship isn’t what you wanted. But before you give up on it totally, make sure you aren’t being distracted by unrealistic expectations. Sometimes it takes a bit of work to make that relationship live up to self-imposed hype.


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