Love Letters: Are Relationship Updates on Social Media Misleading?

no lie

Fall is on the way, which means temps are getting chillier – and you know what that means:

Bae season is upon us.

Before you start grabbing warm bodies to snuggle up against, holla at me. I’ll make sure you’re living right.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

A recent study shows that people who are always bragging on Facebook about how good their relationship is are usually unhappy most of the time. Do you agree or disagree and why?


After our girl KJ raised this question I decided to lazily google conduct some investigative journalism and explore this issue myself. I couldn’t find the study KJ mentioned; in fact, I found a 2013 study that said just the opposite. From HuffPo:

New research out of UCSF, published in the July 2013 issue of Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that people who post about their relationship on Facebook report being more satisfied and secure in their marriages than those who do not.

But ignore the Internet know-it-alls (present company excluded, of course). Here’s the bottom line – never judge book by its cover, nor should you judge a relationship by its Facebook.

Take, for instance, me and my lovely bride. Go ahead, it’s OK to stare:

Edwad and Javacia


The wifey and I are very socially active and we’re not afraid to support each other and show affection on these here Interwebs. Because of that, people assume we have the model relationship. We never disagree, we’re always happy and fireworks are always blasting outside of Bowser’s castle.


(image via)

Somebody told y’all wrong.

We disagree. We struggle. Thankfully, we respect each other not to scream or yell or throw stuff around the house, because breaking things is dumb and expensive. We have issues – just like everyone else – but we work them out privately and our relationship is always stronger in the end. It that’s type of love and respect that keeps us focused on each other, not our faults.

I’m humbled by the fact that so many people look to our relationship as a model for their own – hence this very column – but we’re still trying to figure things out too. I’m just happy to discuss some of the mistakes I’ve made so you don’t make the same.

I know some of y’all throw every insignificant detail on Facebook but for us, and many other couples, what you see on social media is just a fragment of our lives.

So no matter how good, or bad, a relationship seems online, look deeper before making judgments.


Why is it that some men expect you to sweat them?

Already Physically Fit


Well, wouldn’t you want to be sweated? To an extent, anyway.

Everyone wants to feel wanted. It’s just that some brothers – and ladies too – take that need for affection way too far. It’s one thing to want your mate to show interest, it’s another to expect them to downright embarrass themselves just to boost your ego.

Don’t be too wrapped up in yourself to show your man affection. But please don’t degrade yourself in the process. It’s not just worth it.

Aw, I can’t hold it in. Let’s finish this column off appropriately:


Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.