Love Letters: Why Do Men Prefer Women Who Cook?

Allow me to slip into my finest purple gators as I once again slide down lover’s lane. Here’s how you can join me:

Send your inquiries to soulinstereoblog@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

Why are men so quick to ask a woman if they can cook?

Not Betty Crocker

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for another round of your favorite game: GENDER STEREOTYPES

In a world where our lives revolve around hand-held technology, we still cling to caveman mentalities in our relationships.

But as usual in this column, you’ve gotta blame gender stereotypes for a man’s desire to marry a big bootied Chef Boyardee – it’s because we were raised to believe it. Boys are taught that a good wife is a caretaker – cooking, cleaning, raising kids, etc. It’s what we were told by our own mothers.

And ladies, y’all ain’t off the hook, either. You were taught that a good husband is a provider – the breadwinner. The car fixer. The problem solver.

In theory, I don’t have a problem with using these as broad guidelines to find a mate. A man needs a compassionate woman. A woman needs a strong, steadfast man. But when your relationship lives or dies by a woman’s stove game, I think that’s dumb.

My wife will quickly tell you that she’s not a fan of cooking (she’s not a bad cook though – her grilled salmon will make you wanna slap somebody). She cooks because if she doesn’t eat she’ll die. If I didn’t pursue a relationship with her simply because she doesn’t fry steaks every night, I would have thrown away one of my greatest blessings.

Ladies, brothers love to eat and if you’re a beast in the kitchen, we salute you. But they’re more to a relationship than just stuffing your face. You gotta bring more to the table than a book of recipes.

Oh and fellas, if you’re gonna judge a woman for not cooking you better know how to change a flat tire. You can’t have it both ways.

QUESTION NO. 2:

Do you think girls who have unresolved issue with their fathers inadvertently ruin relationships because of “daddy issues?”

Parental Discretion Advised

No question, playa. Now I’m not saying a girl can’t grow into a successful woman without a father figure – far from it. But remember this sentence:

And ladies, y’all ain’t off the hook, either. You were taught that a good husband is a provider – the breadwinner. The car fixer. The problem solver.

Some women twist those values. Instead of wanting a man with those characteristics, they’re looking for a straight-up caretaker. Some brothers do this too, essentially wanting a mom instead of a mate.

A relationship should be a partnership – equals. Women should want a man who takes care of them, but they should also be willing to care for their man in return. Y’all are too grown to simply want baby-sitters and ATM machines.

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