Love Letters: Should A Woman Marry A Man Who Is More In Love With Her Than She Is With Him?

It’s time to probe the love lives of our readers.


Want to share your burning question? Here’s how.

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.   

Here’s today’s question:

Should a woman marry a man that is more in love with her than she is with him?


I love my friends but they are known for making very questionable statements, like “collard greens soaked with ham ARE healthy,” “Rihanna is a great singer” and “Future is very talented.”
All lies.
They’ve also weighed in on KJ’s question in the past, saying that it’s imperative for women to marry a man more in love with them than they are. That ensures he won’t cheat, you see. 
Yeah, keep thinking that.
I’ve written about this a million times, but it bears repeating: it’s vital for couples to be in sync. In this case, I’m talking equal levels of love. In the bible, they call it being equally yoked. Embarking on a relationship with someone who is on a different page than you – or a whole different book entirely – is suicide.
If your man is more into you than you are him, that leaves the door wide open for infidelity. Either you’re gonna feel smothered and push him away or your eyes will wander and you’ll be singing CrazySexyCool track No. 2 in no time. It’s also not very fair to the guy, who is pouring effort into a relationship that’s already on sinking sand.
If you’re just not that into a guy or your love is somehow not equal to his, here’s a thought – don’t bother starting a relationship. It’ll save everyone a ton of heartache.

Why are there more single women than men? Are men not as picky? What is the deal?

Lifeguard for shallow dating pool

Playa, what Gallup poll did you use to determine that there are more single women than men? 
Barring the lack of probing scientific data or a Wikipedia page on the subject (cuz Wikipedia is always accurate), I’m willing to say that there’s not more single men than women in the universe.
But just for the sake of argument, I did some research. In 2009, census data said the estimated number
of unmarried men is 42,157,997. The number of unmarried women is 35,852,821.
So there are way more single men than women.
But really, who cares about that? What you really want to know are the availability of eligible men who have good sense. Those are always in rare supply.
Hang in there, playa, they DO exist. The trick is not to settle for less while you await the good guys. No matter what the numbers say, just have patience. They’re out there.


  1. Well, it is neither a written rule anywhere nor it is advised about whom you should date and whom you shouldn’t. It is all up to your choice and requirements and also on the characteristics you want in your life partner. So, in my opinion it is difficult to decide about this. Being a Persian man I must say that your should date one who loves you truly.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.