Love Letters: Invasion of Privacy?

This month, we’re going to #BlogLikeCrazy here at Soul In Stereo. If you’re a blogger, here’s why you should #BlogLikeCrazy too.

The good news for readers is that I’ll be cranking out a ton of these Love Letter inquiries to fill up those 30 days of blog posts. If you submitted a question ages ago, chances are I will finally get to it. And if you have a question that’s keeping you up at night, this is the time to share it.

And here’s how!

Send your inquiries to, or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.   

Here’s today’s question:

Is it an invasion of privacy to check your significant other’s email, FB, inbox or phone?


What is it in a woman’s DNA that turns her into Batman when she thinks her mate is misbehaving? I’ve had friends crack phone codes, retrieve sent texts and even access government files!

Yet these same people refuse to use Twitter because “it’s too complicated.” Playa please.

The excuse used by women (and men too, frankly) is that if the suspect has nothing to hide, they shouldn’t have a problem with all this detective work.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Just because you’re dating someone doesn’t give you card blanche to play Sudoku with your boo’s Social Security number. I’ve been married for seven years and we dated three years prior to that. Not once have we snuck on email accounts or hacked into Facebook pages. My wife and I respect each other’s privacy.

Lemme repeat that for the reading impaired. HUSBANDS and WIVES respect each other’s privacy. So why do random girlfriends and boyfriends think they have the right to know ALL of their mate’s business?

News flash, even people in relationships have private thoughts and feelings. Same goes for me and my wifey. That doesn’t mean there’s something to hide, it just means we’re individuals. Still, there is no desire to go rummaging through each other’s inboxes. Why? Because we trust each other.

So why are y’all dating people you don’t trust?

If your intuition tells you something is wrong, give your mate the opportunity to defend him/herself. If you’re still not convinced, well, it might be time for you to move on.

Dating someone doesn’t give you the right to dig through their private life. But if you really think something is going on, I’m sure it will come to light without you committing mail fraud and identity theft.


Is a woman or a man that stays with someone that cheats on them and constantly embarrasses them a strong person or a weak person?


I guess this depends on your point of view. It takes a strong person to forgive someone for past failures, especially considering our society’s unfair “once a dawg alwayz a dawg” mentality. But to constantly let someone back in your life after repeatedly hurting you is weak and, in the long run, crippling.

If someone is truly remorseful for their actions, by all means, they deserve forgiveness. Being the bigger person is the epitome of strength. However, if your mate has no desire to change their ways, moving on is the strongest thing you can do.



  1. *Carte Blanche.

    Great response (and blog, btw), I’ve been a long time reader; the award show 20Qs are always hilarious. I completely agree with this advice and it’s the same thing I tell my friends. One thing that I always add is “If you go looking for something, chances are you’re going to find it.”

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