Thanks to this column, I'm quickly becoming the Chuck Woolery of the Internetz. I kinda like it. If you have a question for me, read on below. I'll be back in two and two.
Ugh, you have to be as old as me to get that reference. Google it, young'ns.
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Here's today's question:
I'm not a big flirt and my girls always get on me because I don't know when a guy is flirting with me. How can I tell when a man is flirting?
DWThis is one of those questions where the answer is drastically different depending on the dude. It's definitely not one-size-fits-all. But I'll try my best.
Flirting is one of those abstract characteristics of life that is nearly impossible understand, much like the rising popularity of 2 Chainz.
Flirtation varies greatly from guy to guy. Some guys flirt subtly, others are so blatantly corny that Quagmire from Family Guy would be embarrassed. Also, if the recipient isn't savvy in the Ways of Flirtation, those pick-up lines will fly right over her head. I've been described by some as a very flirty guy, but the wifey often jokes about not realizing that our first date was actually a real date.
Ugh, this flirting thing is as complicated as nuclear physics. Here are a few hints:
- The Great Inquisition: Ever meet a dude who asks a billion questions? What are you interested in? Where did you grow up? What do you like to eat? Do you have a man? That guy might be flirting. Dudes often do this to test the waters for a first date.
- Magnetic Pull: Let's say you're with a friend or group of women and a guy joins the mix. Does he directly ask for your input in the conversation? Does he frequently and consistently make eye contact with only you? That guy might be flirting.
- Thanks for the Compliment: Sure, we all like compliments from either sex, but do you constantly get compliments on your hair, dress or fragrance from a certain someone? That guy might be flirting. This, of course, could range from innocent to disgusting ("I love the dress you're wearing, it would look great on the floor next to my bed..."), so watch out.
Ladies, even if you pick up on these clues it's not etched in stone that the guy wants to date you. Maybe he's just nosy, thinks you're great for conversation or a just a nice guy. There will never be a neon sign hanging over him that says "I wanna date you."
The main thing to remember is that flirtation does NOT equal a marriage proposal. Flirtation usually means "I'd like to get to know you better," not "I want you to birth my baby." Don't take things too far. If you're into a man and think he's flirting with you, there's no harm in letting things progress. Just take things slowly and allow the relationship develop.