Love Letters: Becoming Facebook Official

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If you’ve been following Soul In Stereo lately, you know this is #BlogLikeCrazy month, in which yours truly has pledged to publish a blog every day for 30 days. Oh man.

That means I’ll need a lot of content to get me to Turkey Day and beyond. If you have a burning relationship question, this is your best chance to get a quick answer. Here’s what you need to do:

Send your inquiries to, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.

Here’s today’s question: 

If you’re in a relationship and you happen to be on Facebook is it cool to keep your relationship status as single?


This question is proof that Facebook has truly permeated our culture. Back in my day, when we had black and white TVs, action figures with rubber heads and Jacksons with large noses (RIP MJ), you knew a couple was dating because they sat beside each other on the bus. That was the only confirmation we needed. Now, a couple isn’t legit until they’re “Facebook official” – you know, they’ve changed their status to “In A Relationship,” complete with annoying notifications to all their friends.

My gut reply to this question is, “Why do you need to change your status? Why not keep it ‘single?'” Does that guy you barely know from high school – who just happens to be your Facebook – really need to know who you’re dating? Your real-life status is solely between you and your partner.

But then I realized that not adjusting your status could make your partner feel shortchanged or, even worse, worry that you don’t take the relationship seriously.

I know many people who take Facebook relationship statuses seriously. It’s like a final affirmation of digital commitment – you’re taking your love worldwide. In that case, writing off their feelings could deal a blow to a budding relationship. You definitely don’t want to start things off on the wrong foot.

Talk to your partner and see if he or she wants to take things public. Just make sure you’re both on the same (Facebook) page. If you both prefer to keep things anonymous, that’s fine too.

The most important thing is to do what’s best for the both of you. The opinions of your Facebook friends don’t matter. You probably don’t know half those people anyway.



  1. I don’t have any relationship status on Facebook, and I don’t think my boyfriend does, either. If I were in a relationship with someone who REALLY cared about being “Facebook official,” I suppose that would be fine. But I agree, the opinions of my Facebook friends don’t matter–which is exactly why I took that status off all together several years ago.

    • I have a friend who also removed his status entirely. He didn’t want the world to know who he was hooking up with and breaking up with. Can’t blame him.

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