Love Letters: When Is It OK For a Man to Hit a Woman?

Well, this week’s Love Letters question is a no-brainer, in more ways than one. I’ll skip the intro and get right into it. But first…

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Here’s today’s question:

Why do women hit men and then claim they were the victim, not aggressor?

@msashleythinks via Twitter

I figured someone would ask me to weigh in on this.

If you had the good fortune to miss this foolishness Friday, I’ll fill you in.

Courtesy of, the Archie Comics of hood news, a violent argument on a bus went viral in a flash. In the vid, a loud-mouthed hoodrat was on the bus yelling at the driver about Lord knows what. The woman, probably smelling of Flaming Hot Cheetos and weave (Rick Ross’ dream woman!), spent about a minute harassing the guy. Mr. Bus Driver replied with his own quips (‘looks like somebody sliced your face up’) and that just set off the street urchin. She started swating at him like frantic babymomma on the Maury show.

Then things went south. Literally.

The driver stood up, spit his now infamous catchphrase – “you goin’ ta jail ta-day!” and uppercutted that girl into oblivion, knocking her flat out and knocking her weave flat off. The woman’s chickenhead cheering section, who had been egging her on the entire time, went from “whip his a** guuuul!” to “SHE A WOMAN! YOU CAN’T HIT A WOMAN!”

After eating that Street Fighter Shoryuken, the woman STILL wouldn’t shut up, claiming her boyfriend would  be back for revenge, blah blah blah. Mr. Bus Driver wasn’t hearing it – he snatched her up, forcibly ejected her from the bus and tossed her crap back into the hood from whence it came.

The driver’s parting thoughts: “She want to be a man? I’m gonna treat you like a man.” In an instant, he became an Internet hero.

I’m not posting the video, so if you wanna see it yourself you’re on your own. Still, the entire situation has raised questions about when it is, or is not, OK for a man to lay hands on a woman.

To answer MsAshley’s question, some women think they can get away with mouthing off to men because they know society finds it unacceptable for a man to ever hit a woman. I’m sure that ratchet creature in the video never thought that she would get Mortal Kombat’d by a man who could be her grandfather. The victim, by the way, is 25 years old, not a kid as was first reported. She only has the mentality of an 11-year-old. Trust me, she has zero class and I don’t feel one bit of sympathy that she got chin-checked.

Still, the driver was wrong. Very wrong.

To paraphrase one of my boys Friday, it’s amazing that people are arguing in favor of assault.

Yes, I was raised to never hit a woman. Is that a bad thing? Even my feminist wife would agree that in most cases men are physically stronger than women (look it up people, that’s not conjecture, that’s physiology). I have been hit by women before – and by women much bigger than the woman in the video. And I never went upside a woman’s head.

Listen to me brothers, cuz I’m not mincing words:

A man should NEVER hit a woman unless his life is threatened. Period.

Do you think that 180 pound bus driver felt physically threatened by that 90-pound trainwreck? Playa please. The only thing threatened was his ego.

Yes, she swung at him first. Yes, she was an annoying piece of garbage. Yes, the pigeon coupe in the background was instigating things. But at some point, someone has to be willing to realize how stupid the situation is and walk away. And since the bus driver seemed like the least insane person in the situation, he should have said “enough” and just forcibly thrown her off the bus (as he did anyway) – just minus the knuckle game.

It ALL goes back to ego. Mr. Bus Driver didn’t want to go down in Internet history as the man who was slapped by a ignorant woman. The Man Code (TM) says he who gets respect is the one who leaves his adversary laying. But laying out a woman, though? C’mon, playa. At what point in our culture did retaliation become mandatory?

I wish Mr. Bus Driver took his own advice: “She want to be a man? I’m gonna treat you like a man.” The epitome of manhood is to walk away, rather than stoop the level of a chickenhead.



  1. CRAZY. Crazy. KrAzY!!! Wrong is wrong. He definitely took it to the extreme with his finisher move, but she is not without fault either. Surprise to no one, neither pressed charges.

    It get’s better:

    and @ShideaLane on Twitter …this woman just does not stop.


  2. This video and the response to it show how we are devolving as human beings. I agree that a man should never hit a woman unless his life is threatened. But I also believe that a woman should never hit a man unless her life is threatened. Yes, most men are physically stronger than most women, and this is why we do (and should) make a big deal over men hitting women, but the point I’m making is that no one should be hitting anyone! We live a culture inundated with things like Bad Girls Club and we think that cussing out and beating down people is normal and OK. This video is not just about a man hitting a woman; it’s about the fact that we as people need to stop behaving like demented animals!

  3. Yes, a man never hit a woman unless his life is threatened. I agree with this. Not only man to woman, but also this happens in the case of woman to man.

    Love Letters

  4. Never thought I’d totally agree with Charlie Sheen but the man speaks the truth.

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