We’re just a few weeks away from a monumental turning point in American history. A day when the world as we knew it changed forever.
Yep, my birthday.
That means you have just a couple of weeks left to purchase all the Sour Patch Kids, Count Chocula, Best Buy gift cards and Keith Sweat memorabilia your credit card allows.
It’s the least you can do for all these years of sage advice, right? And speaking of advice, let’s get down to today’s business.
Send your inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here’s today’s question:
Why don’t men like weave?
In recent years, the natural hair movement has made great strides. A culture that once shunned its own image is now being taught to embrace its curly beauty. It’s a beautiful thing.
Despite that, there are still some women who enjoy having a head full of luxurious horse hair. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine and shame on anyone who judges them. Just because I’m married to the Nefertiti of Natural Hair doesn’t mean I’ll diss those who prefer the synthetic stuff.
Still, there are plenty of brothers out there who just aren’t fans of the look. Here’s why:
It’s Too Freaking Expensive. Here’s something that will make all the guys in the room jealous: I’ve never paid for a woman to get her hair done. Those of you who aren’t experienced in the art of weaves probably won’t understand why that news makes me jump for joy, so here’s some hard figures:
– After asking around, a pack of hair extensions runs as low as $35 but can quickly reach triple digits if you’re trying to ball like Beyonce.
– Also, while researching for this post (yes, I researched weaves, playa, chill out…), I learned that the cost of having hair sewn into one’s scalp is separate from the cost of the weave itself! Highway robbery!
– Therefore, according to my unbeWEAVEable friends, a decent weave will run somewhere around $100. Of course, that doesn’t include upkeep.
And y’all wonder why men get turned off by weave – that’s like paying child support!
Women Are Extremely Protective of It. After paying all that money, can you blame them? I’ve made the unfortunate mistake of touching a woman’s weave and literally – LITERALLY – got punched for it.Women go to painstakingly great lengths to keep weave perfect. It can’t get wet, it can’t be touched, and some women even sleep upright to keep it beauty-shop fresh. Much like your grandma’s living room furniture, weave is for admiring, not touching. It’s pretty stressful living in fear of your woman’s hair.
There’s No Bigger Turnoff Than A Bad-Looking Weave. Don’t believe me?
Go away, Nicki.
And I’m pretty sure Big Bird’s life partner isn’t natural. Shout out to Mitt Romney.
Again, ladies, I’m not knocking your purchase. Just be sure that if you’re wearing weave, you’re doing it for yourself, not to please some man. Chances are, that’s a lost cause.