Love Letters: Bad Girls

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Why do men love a mean woman when there are so many nice women in the world? 


Wait, wait, wait. I hope you aren’t insinuating that only the male species gravitates toward the wrong crowd. Ask Mary J. Blige about her bad boy.

Or these brain surgeons:

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These are the role models of our children, people. Even worse, that guy likely will be at my family reunion in July. He won’t get any potato salad; I’ll make sure of that.

I’m sure I could try to dig up some deep psychological reason that causes men (and women) to go after things that are bad for them, but I only got a B in my college psychology class. So let’s go with good ol’ common sense.

Danger is alluring. For women, bad boys offer an edge and their aggressiveness (ironically) can make a woman feel safe and protected. Some guys, me included, dislike shrinking violets. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a confident woman, but we often confuse ‘confidence’ with ‘crazy.’ Before you know it, you’re dating one of the beasts from The Bad Girls Club.

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I’ve been there. I dated a ton of girls like that in college. Emphasis on college, not adulthood.

Anyone – ESPECIALLY a fully functioning adult – who puts up with a drunken, promiscuous street fighter clearly isn’t looking for a long-term relationship or has no concept of a healthy relationship. If you have your eye on a guy who prefers sloppy club brawlers over a woman who has her life together, forget him. Eventually, he’ll realize that he’ll need someone more mature in his life and he’ll be ready to move on – possibly with you. But don’t force him to make that decision, he has to make it on his own. If all he wants is a bad girl, he’s not ready for a real relationship, and not worthy of your time.



  1. Man!! Those fine women out there are often mean as hell. They look quiet but once you get close to them, you get a chance to see how evil they are. LOL It’s funny how good men end up with the crazies and good women end up with Mr. Wrong.

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